Chapter 21:
I take a deep breath and continue to wipe my eyes. I look up at him and he looks angry, but stays silent.
I'm glad he hasn't said anything because I'm not quite done yet. I clench my fists together and try be as calm as possible.
"You know what's my favorite about all of this? About my point? You're not even denying it. You're not even stopping me because you know I'm r-right." My voice begins to crack again, but I just don't care anymore. He made me this way.
"You weren't even thinking of me. You were just thinking about yourself. You were just thinking about yourself, just like always. If you couldn't wait for me, you should've just broken up with me before this stupid trip."
He's still looking down, not saying one word. Not even reacting. Guess I should continue.
"You know what hurts me the most. You were completely intoxicated and not one thought of me came up. Not one thought of me that could stop you from doing something so stupid. So fuck-" I'm cut off by his sudden grip on my wrist. I can't seem to break this.
"You know what you're fucking problem is? You're always pushing things. All the fucking time. Don't you think I get it? I get it. I fucked up. Cut this shit out. I'm fucking sick of it. You should actually be glad that I actually owned up to it." I once again try to break physical contact with him, but his grip only gets tighter.
"I'm a man, baby. I own up to my mistakes" he says while his right hand gets a gentle grip on my neck. His thumb rests on my chin. He motions my neck in a way that directions my face to look up at his.
"A man wouldn't give me a reason to disrespect him, a boy would. Know the difference." I snarl.
"You're no woman yourself either, you're just another bitch." He says.
I've had it. I've absolutely had it with him. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior, especially coming from Jack.
My hand is suddenly stinging from the action I just performed right now. Jack is cupping his left cheek and what seems to be an expression of shock is imprinted all over his face. What did I just do? Did I just slap Jack? God, I knew this wouldn't end well. I let my emotions get to me and I lost control of myself for a brief moment.
"You see? That's all you do. All you do is push me to the fucking edge. All you fucking do is push everything, you push it all the way to their limit and then you exceed that limit. You just did that. Man, fuck you. I'm done with your shit. You're a child." He spits.
He starts walking down the steps and on to my driveway. He opens the car door, and right before he enters the the car, he shouts something.
"We're done! I can't be with a girl that isn't at the level I'm at. Maybe one day, you can catch up!" He shouts and then drives off.
The level he's at? What fucking level? He's a boy that doesn't think with his head, well he can definitely think with the head of his penis.
I sit down on my door steps and sigh in frustration. I can't believe I handled that so badly. I slapped him, why did I do that? I could've handled the situation so much better. God, I am a bitch.
So this is it? It's over. It's done. We're done. No more random pick ups by him. No more Saturday date nights, no more of his puppy dog eyes, no more random attacks of his kisses, no more hoodies, no more attending his football games, no more of him, no more love left.
Our old memories start flooding through my mind. From the first day we met, the first conversation we had. That conversation was so awkward. I look back at that and actually laugh to myself. He wasn't always like this.
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I spend my night sitting on the steps, thinking about the times we've had. We shared so much and made all these memories. We made these amazing memories that are left for what? To haunt me, to haunt my every thought, my every action, everything I do.
I need sleep, that's exactly what I need right now. I've been so sleep deprived these past few days. I actually feel like I'm a walking corpse.
I walk back inside my house, take off my jeans, put on my pjs and just fall asleep.
Tonight was probably the worst night of my life, I definitely need a break from what happened.
(Sorry for crappy chapter, I honestly didn't know how to end it. Trust me, the next chapter I'm working on will definitely make up for it. Once again, I'm sorry. I hope you guys don't hate it as much as I do. Not my best work. Don't forget to comment and vote guys! I love you all! Keep reading! :) -Giselle)
