Fear has different kind of forms. Fear of the darkness, fear of bees, fear of dying, fear of commitment...No matter what, it's a powerful illusion in our physical world that can decide other feelings, the way we think and our own actions. We bring fear to our life, without it we would be living recklessly and we wouldn't know how to distinguish between healthy and dangerous actions. It's a constant battle of the rational side of our brain with our emotions.
Michelle has seen the struggle of commitment. It's easy to like someone and fall in love with them when the real test is how to maintain a relationship floating. Committing involves putting first the feelings and needs of another person. Involves losing some independence of your own life. Involves being tied down.
Maybe it was because she saw both of her parents struggle to keep moving on, sinking and getting up again, almost getting lost in the way. But the fear of loss and waste of time in a relationship that would eventually head nowhere was always present in her thoughts.
She opened her eyes by the sudden movement and feeling of a sticky liquid being rubbed against her arm. She growled confused and turned to the other side bumping against a tiny hairy body jumping around the bed. Balboa kept bumping his head against her stomach and occasionally letting a shy bark out.
The sky seemed dull and grey by the amount of pale sunlight getting through the curtains. As she stood up, stretching her back and cracking her bones, she heard the noise of the water drops hitting the window and of car wheels spinning on the wet road. She slowly dragged her feet down the stairs as she combed her hair with her fingers, untangling it from last night's sleep. The noise of tiny steps followed right behind.
Mesut was cooking breakfast with a simple white sleeveless top and football shorts. He looked to his back as she heard her approaching, a big smile on his face and a, now familiar, shiver went down his spine. He felt her arms wrapping around his waist and how she placed a warmth kiss on the back of his neck.
''What's for breakfast?'' Michelle whispered softly against his skin, pulling him closer to her.
''Pancakes'' He replied ''Do you want anything else, Miss?''
''Can I ask for anything I want?'' Michelle walked slowly to his side, tracing a line with the tip of her finger on Mesut's bare arm.
Mesut flipped the last pancake on the plate as Michelle sat on the counter telling him to get closer to her. She grabbed both of her arms and abruptly pulled him against her. His nose touched hers, their breathing collapsed and eyes met. They both smiled against their kiss. All that mattered that moment was Mesut and Michille. The two of them. The look on their faces, feeling their hearts beating fast, their lips crashing together, their hands holding, fingers interlocking and not letting go.
''Can I have you, instead?'' Michelle whispered into the kiss.
''You can always have me'' They shared a deep kiss, him cupping her face as she buried her hands under Mesut's shirt and wrapped her legs around his waist this time ''You feeling better today?'' Michelle nodded tracing circles on his skin.
''I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. I didn't want it to be that way''
''It will be fine''
''You don't know my dad. He can be stubborn as long as he wants''
''Hey'' Mesut locked his big brown eyes into hers ''I promise it will get better. We will work on it and your dad will like me eventually. I'll prove to him that I truly care about you'' He paused to place another kiss on her lips ''As long as I am with you, I'm not worried about your dad or anyone else''
They been together for 5 months and one thing Michelle realized this past week is how Mesut started to open up more to her. He made her feel better than ever, he somehow made her feel completed. It was great and overwhelming at the same time. It might be everything she has been looking for but deep down she was wondering if it wasn't a waste of time at all. She told herself she wouldn't think about that and enjoy the moment.
''You are too good to be true'' She said.
''You make me good'' Swoon ''And pancakes are getting cold''
Michelle nodded and grabbed the plate full of pancakes. They say down next to each other making the grey and rainy day feel warm. The silence and the quiet smiles were as comfortable as they could be. It was the perfect beginning of the week.
The vibration of Michelle's phone on the table interrupted her attempt of finishing one pancake. She answered it without looking at the ID ''Hello?''
''Chelle'' His voice was quiet and dry, nothing like she has ever heard before coming from him. It was James. They have only seen each other twice and they were both in the hospital. After that night, their relationship fell apart, no texts or calls to ask how they have been. James felt guilty and bad. Michelle felt disappointed.
''Is everything okay?'' Mesut asked concerned about the look on her face. She just nodded and excused herself.
''James'' She finally breathed back.
YOU ARE READING
High Voltage (Mesut Özil Fanfic)
Fiksi Penggemar[Discontinued sorry!!!] 24 years old, rich, football player and injured. One month of recovery ahead. It might be long and boring. What if he meets someone who would definitely change that?
