Chapter One
"Dammit Niall! How many times have I told you not to smoke in my apartment?!" I only rolled my eyes at Liam, who was currently standing above me.
"It's bad enough you picked it up from Zayn, but seriously take it outside!"
"Stop being such a sour puss Li." I said, taken a simple drag from the lighted stick between my fingers.
"Don't make me drag your ass outside Niall."
"Fine, look I'm putting it out!" I put the stub of the cigarette into the ash tray, but Liam still wasn't happy.
Nothing makes him happy anymore.
Or is that just me?
"Look Niall, I think it's time we have a ta-"
"Let's not, and say we did. Sounds good to me Liam."
"Niall it's been over a year sin-"
"Don't fucking bring it up Liam."
"I just think it's time fo-"
"Liam, shut the fuck up!" I stood up in my chair, my eyes locked with his in a glare. I was beyond pissed, and it looked like Liam was too.
"Not until you listen to me Niall! Now sit your ass back down in that chair, and listen to me!" I did what I was told, my eyes still locked with his.
"Now as I was saying, I'm sick of you being this little pain in my ass. You aren't the Niall I used to know. The Niall I used to know never smoked, or drank, or did any of that shit. Hell you don't even smile Niall! You aren't Niall anymore, and I fucking want him back."
"Well go find Harry then. Go fucking find him so I can beat the hell out of him for leaving me! It's his fault!"
"It's not Harry's fault Niall!"
"He left! He left me, and didn't even give me a reason. Just a fucking note that said he loved me! If he loved me, where the fuck is he?! Bring him back!"
"No one knows where he is Niall! Even if I did bring him back, what makes you think he'd want you again?! You aren't Niall!"
"I don't give a fuck who I am, I just want him back."
"He's not coming back Niall. If he was, he'd be here by now."
"You don't think I know that?"
"I understand this is ha-"
"You don't understand any of it Liam. You don't fucking understand how it feels to have your heart literally ripped out of your chest. You don't understand what it feels like to be left behind. You don't know what if feels like to have a broken heart."
"Don't pull that shit Niall, we both know I have. You weren't the only one left behind." I frowned slightly, but my pride wouldn't let me apologize for what I said.
"Whatever Liam, if you're done lecturing me about how I've "changed" I'd like to go now."
"You have my premission to leave."
"With pleasure." And that was that. I stood up from the small chair, and walked out of Liam's house. The cold September air hit me, making me pull my jacket closer to my body. I looked around me, grimacing as I saw all the lovey dovey couples that littered the streets. The sooner they realize love is stupid, the better.
I, myself learned that lesson.
The hard way of course.
I really did think he loved me, but when I came home to an empty apartment, my whole world came crashing down.
He never did love me, even if that note says otherwise. I take it everywhere I go, it's so worn from the amount of times I've taken it out of my pocket... The ink from the pen was faded, but I knew the words by heart now...
I love you
The biggest lie known to man kind.
Also the greatest illusion.
Who the fuck even invented love? Who thought it'd be cool to play someone's heart?
Who was the real first heartbreak?
Love is too complicated to understand, even if you think you do.
It's like a jigsaw puzzle... Or is it? A jigsaw puzzle eventually makes sense, the pieces fitting together perfectly like they were meant to. Love on the other hand, the pieces never fit, you can't force them together either.
Hence why love is complicated.
I sound like some sort of preacher, or college professor, droning on and on about the importance of life.
God...
I stopped my walk, I didn't really have a destination in mind... I lived with Liam now, so I couldn't go home... Not with the words I had said to him. I walked to the edge of the road, looking out over the ocean now.
It was calming to say the least, but the thoughts still swarming in my head weren't.
It was always the same question.
Why?
And I never have an answer. Everyday for over a year now, I've been looking for that answer. I've found multiple possible answers, but never the actual one.
Why?
I'm not good enough.
Why?
He didn't love me
Why?
Because, like love... He was just an illusion
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