Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen 

"When everyone stops caring Niall, you'll start to realize just how much you really do care. You've won, and I'm done. Good luck with this whole "I'm broken someone fix me" thing you got going on. It only works as long as you let someone actually fix you."

"You ready to go home now Ni?" Liam's voice sounded timid... Almost as if he was scared of me...

I wouldn't be surprised.... 

I'm scared of myself. 

After Harry finished basically telling me that I'm just pushing everyone away... 

I may or may not have hit him....

Again.

And he may or may not now have a black eye...

Again.

But the thing that scared me though... Was the fact that I hadn't even realized what I'd done until Liam came into my room nearly two hours late.

Everything was black... and no matter how hard I tried... I couldn't remember it. 

Apparently I did something else.... Something that Liam's not going to tell me.

And I think that's the real reason as to why he's terrified of me. 

"Yeah... Something wrong Liam?"

"No... Nothing's wrong Niall... Just uh... Get ready to go... Zayn's on his way." And Liam rushed out of the room, leaving me alone. I didn't move from the bed, instead I found myself studying the patterns that adorned the walls. 

"It only works as long as you let someone actually fix you." Harry's voice rang through my ears, making me close my eyes at the sheer sound. He was right, but my own pride, and that other voice in my head was telling me otherwise...

I can do this by myself... 

I don't need anyone else... 

I'm just fine.

Fine 

_______

When Liam returned again I was ready to go, and he offered me a soft smile which I didn't return. We left the hospital, and to no surprise the car ride was just as quiet. 

They hated me...

That's okay though... 

I hate myself too. 

So that's why when the front door shut behind me, I didn't even bother to stay. I crawled out the bedroom window, dropping to the ground. I found myself walking to the only place that feels like home anymore, my hands in my jacket pockets. There was the soft cold that hit my face as the wind blew, but I wasn't one to really let it phase me. I kept my route clear and true, and when the smell of liquor and sex assaulted my nose I couldn't help but smile. 

This place was my real home...

The music was already shaking the building, clouds of smoke floating the to the ceiling. The strobe lights flashing, making every thing look slower than it really was. I already had a drink in my hand, tossing it back until it came up empty. 

One soon turned in to two.

Two to three

Four to five

Five to god knows how many. 

But I didn't care. I was finally numb, and I felt weightless...

Like I could rule the world...