Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)

Chapter Thirty (Niall Horan)

Chapter Thirty (Niall Horan)

"N-Niall..." His voice was quiet, nothing new there, but that didn't stop my heart from jumping at the mere sound of it. I didn't make a move towards him, instead I opted for the doorway where I could see him more clearly. 

He looked different from the last time I'd seen him, but it wasn't really that good of a different. 

But then again, we were in a hospital. 

He looked as if he hadn't slept int weeks, but I knew it was quite opposite of that. Day after day I watched him sleep, begging for him to wake up.

I didn't care if he hated me... All that mattered to me was that Harry was okay.

I once told myself I could live without those green eyes. 

Oh how I was wrong...

I couldn't have been bigger of a fool than I am now... Wanting to let this boy go.

"Hey Haz..." I smiled softly at him, his eyes never leaving mine. His eyes were still wide, but they were no longer filled with terror... but instead they held something quite different.

They held hurt...

Hurt that I'd caused.

"You really aren't dead..." 

"No.... I seriously don't understand why you thought I was dead..." 

"I went t-to a tavern? I was with Liam and Zayn... They got a drink from the bartender and he told us about someone who died in the tavern. He then proceeded to tell me who he was... and it was you." Harry started to cry right there, and it wasn't just a simple cry. He was full on sobbing, and that was when I finally rushed to his side. I wrapped my arms around him, mindful of the baby on his lap and the wires that were connected to him. 

"I'm not dead Haz... I swear to god I'm not dead. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere.." 

"You're a liar." He wheezed out, but he made no move to push me away. 

"Harry, I know I hurt y-"

"You didn't just hurt me Niall, you broke me. Don't think coming in here and apologizing is gonna fix anything. You left.... You left." 

"You left first..."

"Don't feed me that bullshit Niall. I left, and I get that. I understand that I left, but.... Fuck Niall, you did more than just leave. You made me feel like I couldn't do anything right. You made me feel so guilty and that I was incapable of being happy... I thought I did right for once, but you didn't see it that way. You made me feel like the bad guy, when in the end it was you... It was always you." 

"I... I know what I did was wrong, and that I should've stepped up... But you have to understand that you left, and when you left Harry... I felt like my entire world came crashing at my feet... You broke me by leaving." Harry snorted at me, pushing me away now. His eyes were now angry, and I looked down at my feet... 

"Funny how you did the exact same thing." 

"How many times do I have to say sorry?"

"You haven't even said sorry. You're just sitting here, justifying your actions. That's all you do Niall, that's all you ever fucking did. You were never the one in the wrong, it was always me. You always found some way to get out of it, but I'm sick and tired of it. I'm no longer gonna play the fucking bad guy." 

"It's not like you ever took responsibility either!" 

"I fucking did, and you know it! I took responsibility for my actions, but not just mine. I took responsibility for yours too! When are you fucking going to grow up Niall?! When are you finally going to realize that you can't just keep blaming people?! This isn't high school anymore Niall." 

"I never said it was." 

"Then grow up. I'm so sick of it." 

"I left so I could fix myself Harry... I even told you that was what I was doing. I went to fix myself so I could be with you." 

"I didn't want you to fucking fix yourself Niall! I was perfectly find with fixing you myself. But no! You left instead, leaving me just a fucking note."

"You did the same thing! Stop being such a fucking hypocrite! You left first, and all you left was a note. At least mine told you why I was fucking leaving!" 

"Stop making all of this about me!"

"Why not?! Isn't that what you want Harry?! Don't you want all the fucking attention?!" My chest started to heave, anger clear in my own expression. Harry's face softened a little, but it was only a little. His eyes were still cold... So cold...

"There you go again, acting like a fucking child. Get out Niall. Just get out." His voice matched his eyes. There was no life in his voice. 

"You don't really want me to go." 

"You're right, I don't. But I also don't want to sit here and have you make me feel like I'm the bad guy in this situation. I hate you Niall, and I want you to leave." 

"No you don't..."

"Niall... I can't do this right now. I just can't. Leave." 

"Don't tell me to leave... Dammit Harry, please..." 

"Just go." He sounded so desperate, and as I looked at him, I knew it was probably for the best that I did go.

"I... I'll come back.... I promise I'll come back." It was quiet for a second, and if it wasn't for silence I probably wouldn't of caught what Harry said. 

"If you know what's best for you... You won't."

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So

Harry's bitter at Niall...

Understandable.

I mean it'd be odd if he forgave Niall right off the bat.... 

I'm sorry this took a while, on Monday I almost broke my hand, and I'm still not for positive if it's not broken. I thought it was just really bruised earlier today, but my friend told me that it might be broken. The swelling has also come back and it's starting to hurt again... I wish it would just make up it's mind! But if it's still swollen by Friday, I'm gonna make my mom take me to the hospital.

Um

Dedication: 

MissCrossbowLover

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Connie xx

PS: I love you xx

PPS: Do you think Niall should fight for Harry's trust like Harry did in the beginning of the book? Why or why not?