Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three

His eyes bore into mine, and it was almost as if he was looking for an answer. What kind of answer though? I didn't even have one to give him. 

"Just stop fighting me." 

Those words hung in the air, empty... almost as if they were empty of meaning. 

Stop fighting him on what exactly? Us? 

I gave up on that fight a long time ago. I'm fighting for myself now. 

Never us. 

"I just... I need you to stop fighting me Haz, I can't keep it up any longer." 

"What exactly are we even fucking fighting Niall?" 

"I'm fighting for us. I am fucking fighting for you. I love you dammit." 

"If you loved me, you'd let me fucking go." I hissed at him, glaring at him. His breathing became slightly shallow, his own eyes narrowing at me. He took a step forward, I took a step back. This continued until my back hit the wall. 

"When are you going to understand that I can't. I can't let you go. You are the only thing in my life that ever fucking made sense. You're the only thing that kept me going on. I need you Harry... I fucking need you." He kissed me again, and I really didn't see the point in fighting him now. I needed him too, but I didn't want to need him.  

He held my face in his hands, pouring all of his emotions into his kiss. I could feel wet tears hit my face as he did so, and that's what kind of brought me back to reality. 

We weren't good for each other, hell we never were. 

So why the fuck were we still trying?

Why was I allowing him to kiss me?

But most of all... Why did I want him to keep touching me?

"Can we please... Just for one night, pretend that we aren't fucked up? That we're still in love with each other? Please? That's all I ask..." He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. 

"I.... I don't think I can Niall..."

"Why? Can you please tell me why?"

"I can't sit here and pretend that we are functional, I just can't. We... We were never good for each other, and I'm not going to sit here and say we ever were. I am done with pretending, and I hate to say it, I am done with us. I can't.... I can't do it anymore. I wish you could just respect that." Niall shook his head, pushing off the wall. Tears were streaming down his face as he stood there, and he did that thing he always did when he was upset. He bit his lip, trying to keep the tears at bay. 

"Do you even remember all the promises we made? Every single damn one of them Harry? Can you recall them all, and can you fucking tell me why it was so easy for you to break them?" I scoffed at him, crossing my arms across my chest. 

"Do you remember when I asked you to marry me?" He grew silent for a moment, his eyes refusing to look at me. 

"We've both made promises Niall... and we've both broken them. God, Niall... All we seem to do is break things, and right now... It's impossible to fix them. I can't keep my promises, and I know you gave up on yours long ago...." 

"I never gave up... Don't you ever say I gave up." He was shaking his head again, biting his lip harder, hard enough it drew blood.

"That's a lie and we both know it."

"Eventually, if I lie enough... It won't be true. Do you ever just wish that none of this ever happened?"

"If I'm honest Niall... No. I don't." 

"Why not?"

"Like I said Ni... What we were, it was never something that was going to last. We... We were just never meant to be, for so damn long I thought we were, but I was blinded by an illusion. That illusion being that I fucking needed you like I needed air. But that illusion... It's gone. I can see that I don't have to be with you to live. I know I don't...."

"If you're so sure, then why the fuck did you come back?"

"Lizzie. Lizzie is why I came back. I needed to make sure she wouldn't just end up with Grace." Niall shook his head again, running a hand through his hair.

"Now who's the liar? That wasn't the only reason why you came back." 

"You're right... I also came back for you. I came back so I could see you one last time, cause after this Ni... I'm not coming back. I can't." I shook my own head, blinking my eyes rapidly as tears started to pool. 

"Then let me come with you.... We can runaway together Harry... We can be a family... You, Lizzie and I... I can't let you go Harry... I can't." 

"Sometimes.... Letting something go is our greatest fear, for we don't know for sure if it's the right thing to do...So we fight it, until eventually, that fear consumes us, causing us to lose whatever it is we are afraid of losing." 

"I'm not scared...." His voice was shaking, and so were his hands. He was staring at me with those wide eyes, and all I could see was hurt. 

I was doing this.

I was hurting him. 

"I'm scared. I'm not afraid to admit that... I am so goddamn scared Niall. I'm scared about being on my own without you, but I also know that if I ever want to be generally happy... We can't be together ever again. I... I can't put myself through that again. You broke me Niall, and I broke you. No matter how often you tell me we can fix each other... We can't, cause even if we glue the pieces together, there's still cracks. You can never get rid of those cracks..." 

"I just need a chance Harry.... Please... I just need a chance." 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Next chapter is the final chapter.

I'm not lying.

I'm not kidding.

It seriously is. 

So yeah. 

And if I'm honest I really hate this chapter. 

Dedication: 

morganhoran1698

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Connie xx

PS: I love you

PPS: How do you think this story is going to end? Will Harry forgive Niall?