Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)

Chapter Twenty-Three

The rest of this story will be told in Harry's POV

Connie xx

Chapter Twenty-Three

Cold..

Cold and empty.

That's how everything feels now...

Cold and empty. 

Everything reminded me of him... and I seriously mean everything.

The fucking spoon I was feeding Lizzie with this morning reminded me of him. 

I don't understand what I did... Obviously I did something to make him leave...

It's my fault...

It's my fucking fault he isn't here anymore, and I just want to understand why it's my fault. 

I had no clue as to where he'd gone, neither did Liam. It was like Niall didn't even live there... It was like he had never even existed. 

He was right about me knowing what it felt like...

What it felt like to be left alone with a broken heart. 

I just don't understand where I went wrong... did I not try hard enough?

Maybe that's it... Maybe I just needed to fight harder for him. 

The sounds of crying interupted my selfloathing session.

I forced myself out of my bed, walking across the hallway where Lizzie sat in her crib. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at me expectantly. She made grabbing motions towards me, making me smile softly. I lifted her out of the crib, where she procedded to place her head upon my shoulder. 

"Are you hungry little girl?" I whispered, kissing her head softly. The dawn was just barely filling the house, hues of orange and yellow sweeping from the curtains. She didn't answer me, which I guess didn't surprise me. 

I mean the only word she actually said was Dada.

But I'm not even really her dad... It's always been Niall.

Niall... 

I took Lizzie into the kitchen, placing her in the highchair, but she started to cry instead of actually sit in it. I sighed, picking her up again. She quieted almost instantly, cuddling up into my shoulder, closing her eyes. Soon her breathing became slow and steady, and I realized that she wsn't hungry... She just wanted someone to hold her. 

I stood there in the kitchen, letting her sleep in my arms as I looked out the window at the sunrise. It painted the sky, making it seem peaceful and beautiful.

But then again, if you look too long, you go blind.

Maybe that's what happened... I was blind.

Too blind to realize that Niall and I... We just weren't meant for each other. We never were... So I guess I have to ask myself why on earth I'm so surprised at all of this?

Why does it still hurt so much?

Why do I still love him?

You can only ask yourself the same question so many time, until eventually you find some sort of answer.

The thing is... I don't know the answer.

The sound of my phone going off startled me slightly, making me jump. Lizzie just whined, moving slightly at the jolt. I slowly made my way to the room, not really caring that I might not make it to the phone on time. My phone stopped ringing when I reached my room, I just shrugged as I placed Lizzie on my bed. I climbed in next to her, laying on my back as I pulled her up onto my chest.