Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Two

He kept calling me.

I kept ignoring his calls.

You'd think eventually he'd get the message.

But who was I kidding? 

Niall was just as stubborn as I was. 

Perhaps that sense of pride made it so we wouldn't work though. We were both too prideful to forgive each other for our mistakes. 

All I wanted to do was hate him... but at the same time... I wanted to love him.

I wanted to hear him whisper in my ear over and over again how much he loves me...

That was the irrational side of me though, the side that can't seem to let him go...

The more rational side was telling me to get as far away as possible. It wanted me to run... run and don't look back. 

If only it were that easy...

I couldn't just leave like I did before, I had more than just me to think about now... How was I supposed to know that Niall would step up and take care of Lizzie?

I refused to let her grow up with Grace.

So that's how I found myself going home. I wasn't staying, no I couldn't... I had to get away, but I needed to make sure that Lizzie was going to be okay.

Even if she wasn't my biological daughter, I still saw her as my own child. 

I pulled into my driveway, the world now dark around me as the sunset. I climbed out of my car, the chilling air hitting my bare arms. I rubbed at them, hoping to create some sort of friction. I opened the front door, my home was dark due to the lights being off. 

I didn't turn them on, instead I used my hand to find my way around my home. I found my room with ease, and instead of calling my mum, I fell face first onto my bed. The sound of rain hitting the roof though kept me up. It reminded me of days spent on the couch, my fingers tangled with Niall's as we watched cheesy films.

Those days can't happen again though, that rational side of me won't let it.

I won't let it. 

Not if I wanted to be in one piece. 

I was never going to be whole again, that much I knew... but maybe if I got away from Niall... I could at least repair myself. These cracks are just getting bigger, and it's all thanks to him...

"Hey Harry?"

"Yeah Niall?"

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"My eyebrows scrunched together, the question startled me... Where did I want to be?

"With you? I really don't know Ni..." I chuckled a little, scratching the side of my head. 

"Fair enough, let's just say I'm not in your future, what then?"

"Then I have no clue. Ever since I met you Ni... You've just been apart of my idea of the future. I can't really picture my life without you to be completely honest. I think in a way... I need you to breathe. I love you Niall, more than anything else in the world."

"I love you too Haz, and I promise not to let you live a future without me. I won't let you go, just as long as you won't let me go," 

"I won't Ni..."

"Pinkie promise?" Niall smiled softly, holding out his pinkie.

"Pinkie promise."

When I woke up, it was still raining. The sun wasn't coming through the window, and I was still confused as to when I fell asleep, and what woke me up. 

The sound that woke me up though sounded once more. It was a knock on the door, making me jump a little. 

I climbed out of bed, rubbing at my eyes softly as I did so. The hallways were still dark, so this time I turned on the lights. I walked down the hallway, and when I reached the front door the knocking was getting louder. I opened the front door, and then went to slam it shut once I saw who it was. 

He put his foot in the way of the door, making a small squeak as the door hit his foot.

"Ow!" The thick Irish accent hit home, making my heart beat a mile a minute. The irrational side of me was ready to jump out of the cage I had put it in. I couldn't let that happen though. 

"Niall just leave."

"No. I want to talk to you, and fuck Harry, you're gonna listen to me." Niall pushed the door open, knocking me back slightly. He made his way into the doorway, his hair dripping water as he stood there. He was panting, almost as if he'd been running. I didn't know what to do, my rational side was telling me to get out. Get rid of him.

But right now... All I wanted to do was have him hold me closely. 

"Please Niall... I can't. I  can't do this right now." 

"I don't care. I don't fucking care! I am so sick of all this running. I am sick of you pushing me away, and finally I am done with you telling me to let you go." His voice faded into a whisper, his eyes becoming soft. 

"I am so done with all of this Harry, that I just... I just can't do it anymore. I've been fighting against myself for over a year, then when I finally decided to stop fighting myself, you start fighting against me! I am so sick of fighting, but it seems that the more I fight, the further I get from winning this goddamn war against you. I love you, and I'm never letting you go." Then he kissed me, his lips crashing against mine full force. It was like he was trying to put everything into it. His hands were gripping my cheeks, trying to keep me stationary. 

"I love you so fucking much... Please just stop fighting me." He whispered after a moment, his forehead resting against mine. I didn't say anything, instead focused my attention on him.

"Just stop fighting me."

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So, I was thinking about putting smut in this chapter, but it's not quite time for that.

Last chapter I got a few comments about how this story is going in circles. Yeah, I know, but I think I need to remind you guys I was going to stop this nearly 10 chapters ago. I'm trying to end this dammed thing, but it's taking me awhile. 

Just... Please be patient with me okay? 

I'm trying to make this the best ending I can, and when I get comments like that I don't wanna write it. 

So yeah...

That's all.

Dedication:

Cindy_Lou_Whooo

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