Chapter Seventeen
I woke up the next morning to the feeling of someones breath on the back of my neck. I could smell that familiar scent that belonged to Harry, and instead of freaking out... I just moved a little closer. His arms were wrapped securely around me, and I felt safe.
I felt like I belonged there.
I closed my eyes once more, enjoying the feeling.
"Morning." His voice was like honey, so sweet but yet at the same time still so bitter. It reminded me of times that used to be.
But those were gone now, replaced with the mere bitterness that is loneliness.
"Morning..." I whispered, turning a little so I could see his face.
His eyes were still heavy with sleep, that much was evident, his curls weren't quite so curly, due to the fact he'd slept on them. He gave me a tired smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes...
"Are you okay Niall?" His voice was barely over a whisper, and I didn't have it in me to tell him the truth. So I just stayed quiet, acting as if the question hadn't even been asked. I instead focused on the tattoos the lay upon his chest. I traced the pattern of the two swallows...
I couldn't help but wonder what the meaning held...
Were they just pointless like the many tattoos that colored my arms?
Or did they actually mean something to Harry..
"Ignoring me isn't going to solve the problem Niall... Are you okay?"
"Depends on your definition of okay..."
"My definition of okay is that you actually have an answer as to whether or not you are."
"Then I guess I'm not okay."
"How can I make it so you are?"
"Just hold me for right now..." He nodded, and his arms wrapped around me. He didn't say anything, the only sound in the room was our breathing for a while...
"Did you mean it last night?" He asked.
"Mean what?"
"That you're sorry. It's okay if you're not... I'm just wondering."
"In ways I am, but in others I'm not."
"Care to explain on that?"
"I'm sorry with the way I've been acting I guess. I haven't exactly been the best person, and I see that now. I'm sorry with the way I've been treating you, but in a way I'm not. You hurt me pretty bad, you know? You just left me... and then came back with a kid."
"I know... and I'm sorry too. I know that's the last thing you want me to say, but it's all I can tell you right now. I'm so goddamn sorry Niall..."
"Why did you leave Harry?"
"I can't tell you just yet... but I promise I will soon. I just need to make sure you trust me again..."
"What if I do trust you?"
"Then tell me why you tried to kill yourself. Tell me what happened to you after I left... and tell me that the real you is still in there somewhere."
"I tried to kill myself because it seemed like the best option. I don't have anything to lose. No one wants me around anymore... I'd be doing them a favor. To be honest Harry, I don't remember much of what happened. I was so numb for such a long time, then I found myself sleeping with anything that had two legs, drinking until I couldn't remember my own name... It helped me in some ways... I wasn't forced to deal with the pain till the next day. I felt weightless, and like nothing could ever hurt me. It didn't seem to matter how broken I was... I was okay, even if it was just for a few hours."
"But surely you realize you're not okay..."
"I do, but the problem is Harry, you're the only one who can fix me, and I don't want you to be. I wish this was just something I could do myself, I can't though, and I know I can't."
"Then let me fix you..."
"I can't..."
"Why not?"
"Are you failing to notice the fucking fact that you're the one to break me in the first place?! I don't want you to fix me, cause I'm scared that if I do, you'll just leave again. I can't break more than I already am... I'm already in a million pieces, and every time I find myself near you... It's like I'm walking on the glass letting it shatter even more. I can't trust you enough to fix me."
"What can I do to get your trust back then? Please Niall... I know this sounds selfish of me, but I can't lose you."
"But is it really me you're losing? I mean you've already pointed out that I'm not the Niall you used to know."
I finally looked up at him, his eyes connecting with mine. I got lost in the green almost as quick as my heart beat. He didn't say anything, but his eyes were telling me everything. It was a look I'd learned from the few years I'd known him.
He was determined.
Hurt.
Confused.
And there was something else I still couldn't quite catch.
"The Niall I used to know is still in there, you wanna know how I know?"
"Please enlighten me." Then that stupid smirk appeared on his face, the one that made my heart flutter, and my breathing stop.
Ever so slowly, he leaned in, pressing his lips ever so gently against mine. He pulled away all too quick however, making me almost whine in annoyance.
"The Niall I used to know... Is the only one who kisses me like that. My Niall is still in there, and I swear upon all that I have, I will get him back."
His eyes held a promise, one that I knew that would eventually be broken.
Cause that's just what Harry does...
He breaks things...
Just like he broke me.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm sorry if it sucks.
I had a pretty rough day, but I knew I've kept you guys waiting so I did my best for the time being.
Do you guys want Harry's POV again?
Dedication:
robwest20
Comment
And
Vote
Connie
PS: I love you.
PPS: Thanks for 3k votes on this story <3
YOU ARE READING
Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)
أدب الهواة~|How can you break something that's already broken?|~ "You've already taken eveything from me, what more could you possibly want?!" "You. I fucking want you, but that's the only thing you won't give me." "You had me, but you lost that chance...
