Chapter Eight
"What?" It took a moment for what I said to sink in for Zayn, and when the finally did his expression changed into one of pure hatred.
"Where the fuck is he?!" Zayn let go of Liam, but Liam was having none of that.
"Do-Don't Zayn..." Liam whimpered, trying to get him to sit back down with him.
"He's fucking dead. Now tell me where the fuck he is!"
"I-I can't. Please Z-Zayn... D-Don't go after him."
"Dammit Liam, I'm not gonna let him get away with this!"
"Please Za-Zayn... Do it for me? I don't w-want him to h-hurt you."
"It's not me you should be worried about Liam. It's the fucker who ever thought it was okay to touch you."
"Please Zayn..." Zayn took a deep breath, before nodding.
"If I see him though, I can't promise I won't beat the hell out of him." Zayn whispered, and pulled Liam back into his arms. Liam held Zayn close, burying his face into the crook of his neck. I felt slighlty awkward.
Kinda like I was the third wheel...
So I just left.
I went out into the semi-busy street that was outside our apartment. I passed a few pubs, but for the first time in forever... I didn't feel like drinking.
I didn't feel like anything.
But I didn't want to go home.
So I walked in the cold, observing those around me. Leaving me to wonder if maybe that would've been me... If I hadn't done the things I'd done... Maybe I'd be like them. I stopped at the pier, and breathed in the ocean air. It was moments like these that made me miss home, and the way things used to be.
I was wishing for the past, and the past was something that can never be lived again.
I noticed a small family, a young girl tugging at her fathers coat begging to see the water. Once upon a time, that was what I wanted... I wanted a family that I could take care of, but I wanted one with Harry.
And only Harry..
There was my problem though... I couldn't have that with Harry anymore. He didn't want me, and even if he did... I wouldn't believe him.
I'm nothing.
That much is obvious, or at least to me it is.
I looked out across the water, sighing at how peaceful it looked. I wish my thoughts would do the same, and finally let me be at peace with myself.
The water was a far drop from where I stood, and the longer I gazed at it, the more inviting it seemed.
All I'd have to do was climb up the rails.... and let go...
Maybe then I'd be free of all the pain I feel...
"Niall... Step away from the railing." I heard his voice, the one voice I didn't want to hear right now.
"Fuck off Harry. Let me do what I want."
"No. I won't let you."
"Why not? It's easier this way isn't it? Just let it all go, and give up. Isn't that what you did with me? Give up."
"Niall... I never gave up on you... I couldn't even if I tried."
"But you did Harry. You left me... If that doesn't scream that you gave up then I don't know what does. Now let me do what the fuck I want."
"I didn't give up!"
"You fucking did Harry, there's no point in lying to me anymore! I'm so sick of lying, but that's all I can do anymore. I keep telling myself that I'm fucking okay without you, that I can do this, but every time I feel like I can, you fucking come mess it up. This way you won't ever mess me up again."
"I can fix you Niall... Please."
"I don't need to be fixed. I just need to be let go."
"I won't ever let you go, now let go of that fucking railing before I pull you away from it."
"I'd like to see you try." I whispered, I lifted my foot, setting it against the cold metal bar. Harry's hand reached out to grab me, and I let him. I collapsed into his arms, and started to cry into his shoulder. Harry held me as I cried, rubbing my back reassuringly, whispering in my ear that I was alright.
"Don't go... Please just don't go." I cried, clinging onto his shirt to make sure he didn't just disappear in my arms.
"I won't... I won't go Niall."
"I can't go through this again Harry, I need you to fucking promise me you won't leave again. I need you to stay, even though I make it sound like I don't."
"I won't leave you Niall... I won't."
"Promise me dammit!"
"I promise. I'm gonna make everything okay again Niall..."
"If you do that Harry, you're gonna be one hell of a miracle worker."
"I'm going to fix you Niall... I'll pick up the pieces and glue them back together."
"You're gonna need a lot of glue Harry. I'm pretty sure I'm in a million pieces."
"I'll put you back together piece by piece again. You're still in there Niall, you've just lost yourself."
"I lost myself when I lost you, so why didn't I come back when you did?"
"Cause just like you Niall, I'm not the same person I was a year ago."
"Then how do expect to help me find myself, when you don't even know who you are anymore?"
"I know who I am Niall.. I'm just not the Harry I used to be. Things change."
"I don't think you do Harry. I think you're just feeding me bullshit like you used to. You know what? Forget about that damn promise. I'll fix myself." I shoved him off me, standing up to walk away.
"You can't fix yourself Niall."
"Yeah? Watch me."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Niall is kinda bipolar....
Interesting
Very very interesting.
Dedication:
Cliffertje
For the fabulous fanart on the side. Keep them coming guys :)
Fanart: conwecalllove@gmail.com
Comment
And
Vote
Kermit
(OH I ALMOST FORGOT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 1,000 VOTES ON THIS STORY ALREADY! Maybe I'll do a contest soon... Hmmm.)
PS: I love you
YOU ARE READING
Make Me Break (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Niall)
Fanfiction~|How can you break something that's already broken?|~ "You've already taken eveything from me, what more could you possibly want?!" "You. I fucking want you, but that's the only thing you won't give me." "You had me, but you lost that chance...
