Life With My Brothers Best Friend

Chapter 32.

Colten's POV.

"How is she?" Are the first words Jackson utters as he walks through my door. Brittni trails behind him with puffy eyes and blotchy cheeks. "What happened?"

I sigh. "I'll tell you everything if you sit down."

Truth is, I'm quite worried that he'll punch me in the face or something if I let him stand. He's got a fast fist that I've dealt with on more than one occasion, but as much as I'd love to feel some other type of pain than emotional, I don't want to deal with his right hook. That shit hurts.

"Colten," he growls.

"Please," my voice cracks. Pússy. Fuck.

His face falls and I see Brittni sniffling more. He furrows his eyebrows in a saddened manner and walks over to our couch, Brittni glued to his side. I watch as they sit closely, on the edge of the cushions, looking expectantly at me.

"She miscarried," I whisper. I watch the look on both their faces, Brittni's tears already falling as she cries into her hands. Jackson looks torn, almost as helpless as I fell.

"That's what the blood-"

"Yeah," I run a hand over my face. "They said it was nothing that we did, that it happens often with women. But even then, Nikki is blaming herself."

I knew since the minute the doctor told us what happened that Nikki would blame her own actions on the loss of our baby. I sat next to her on the bed today, after she got up to use the bathroom. She didn't come into the kitchen, so I went to bring her her toast.

"I brought you something to eat." I couldn't help the way my voice shook slightly as the words past my lips. My heart was breaking watching her back move with every breath. I knew she wasn't sleeping, she was just - staring at the wall. Like she had been last night.

She didn't answer after my statement, but I remembered what the doctor said and that's why I said what I did next. "Come on, baby, you have  to eat."

"Not hungry." It was barely a whisper, barely audible to my ears, I could barely make it out. She sounded so broken, so hoarse and lost that I left after that.

I let myself cry.

"Why would she be blaming herself?" Jackson sounds angry. "She had nothing to do with what happened. She did everything right. Everything."

I bite my lip. He's right, she did everything our OBGYN had told us to do, that should be enough for her to know that she didn't kill the baby. Nikki isn't like that, though. It's hard for her to believe that things just - happen. She is always finding a reason why, why I left her for college, why I didn't try to get her back, why her parents left, why Jackson and brittni hurt her, just - why. Most the time, it was never the intention to hurt her, but she won't have it.

"Nikki wouldn't not blame herself," Brittni hiccups. "Can I go see her?"

I'm not sure if it's a good idea, since Nikki barely talked to me, but maybe she would like to talk to her best friend.

"Yeah," I nod. "Just...she may not talk much."

She nods, looking hesitant as she gets up from her seat and walks towards our room.

Nikki's POV.

I could hear their voices, not what they were saying, but the familiar rumble of my husbands voice and the barbaric tone of my brother was clear.

I knew Brittni was coming in without having to hear her say it, she wouldn't not be here for me. I wish I wanted to see her.

The bed dips down, signaling her entrance. It's quite for a while, her not saying anything. I'm definitely not in the mood to talk, so I wouldn't say anything.