Life With My Brothers Best Friend

Chapter 31.

"Stay with me, baby," Colten held my hand as I tried to curl in a ball to relieve pain. I can feel the wetness seeping out of me, but all I'm focused on is the searing pain that courses through my body.

"It's hurts," I cry, it hurts so bad. I want to bang my head against the window and let it shatter to feel some other type of pain. I keep trying to pinch myself to feel something else, but this other feeling overrules the rest.

"No, mom," he sounds irritated and panicked as he talks on the phone. "I came home from practice and she was just waking up. She said it hurt-" there was a pause, Colten looked at me, then looked away. "There was blood. A decent amount - yes - we're heading there right now - you don't have to - okay, I'll let you know."

He hangs up the phone, his fingers run through my sweat drenched hair as I try to hug myself. This is way worse than period cramps, and I've had some pretty bad ones in the past.

"It'll all be okay," he assures me. "I promise."

He shouldn't have.

Making it to the hospital was a whirl wind of events, I can't remember it all. Or I want to forget it, maybe that's why I start to pay attention when we're in a small room, kind of like my ultrasound office. I wish this was a happy time like the rest.

"Okay, Nikki," the doctor, places a hand on my stomach. I flinch. "I'm going to need you to tell me what happened."

"I already told you everything that happened," Colten growls at the woman.

"There maybe some things that add up this," she eyes him calmly. She probably deals with a lot of Colten Mathews. "You can begin, Nikki."

"It started last week," I begin. "I had been feeling some pain for some time. I had been spotting a bit, but my doctor said that was normal sometimes, as long as it wasn't frequent. And it wasn't. Today was when it started getting worse."

"What happened first? The pain, or blood?"

"The pain," I tell her. "I thought it was something I ate."

How stupid was I?

"I went to bed after I got home, and when I woke up, it was way worse. Then I saw the blood, and we were already rushing to the car." Tears fill my eyes as Doctor Adrian looks sympathetic. Something's wrong, I knew that from the beginning, but nothing could prepare me for what I heard next.

"That pain, honey," she places her hand in mine while my bottom lip trembles. "Was caused by contractions."

"Contractions?" Colten questions, looking confused. "But doesn't that happen during birth? Nikki isn't even four months yet."

The doctor takes a deep breath, looking down at the ground real fast before looking directly into my eyes. "We took some tests, and they all came back the same."

We're silent.

"I had an idea of what could've happened the moment you two came in," she sighs. "But I wanted to be sure."

"What are you t-trying to say?" My lip trembles and I have to bite down on it to keep from sobbing.

"You miscarried, honey." Those two words, just those two words have the power to destroy me. And they do, I let go of the urge to defend my tears, but they literally form without any of my permission.

I bring my hand to mouth, my eyes closing as I cry and cry and cry. I cry for the loss of my baby, I cry for the fact that they will never be able to see this wonderful world we live in, I cry for Colten, I cry for my family, and I cry for he or she. I just - cry.