Chapter 34.

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I laugh as Brendan plays with the hat on his head with a huge smile. It's one of the very few caps that Colten actually owns, and Brendan took a liking to it right away. He's been playing with it for an hour. I'm far amused by it as I play peek-a-boo with him.

While on their Honeymoon, Brittni and Jackson are having Brendan stay with Karen. Today, she had a few doctor appointments so she's letting me watch him. I'm having the time of my life really. The spring air is perfect to play outside in, and it's not like the baby seems to mind.

"Nikki!" Colten calls to me. "My moms here."

"Okay," I smile at him and pick up Brendan who is a giggling mess. "Hey, mom."

"Hey, sweetie," she gives me a kiss on the cheek. "How was he?"

"Completely fine," I beam. "He likes Colten's hat."

She laughs. "Brittni was telling me that as well. Everyone of Jackson's he steals."

"I can picture his teenage self now," I giggle. "How was the doctors?"

We walk into the house where I slip Brendan into his car seat. He seems exhausted.

"Good," she nods. "There hasn't been any sign of cancer, so that's a plus."

"That awesome," I let out a breath of relief.

"Well, I should get back now," she sighs. "It's about time for his nap."

I nod in understanding. "Alright, I'll see you later."

She gives me a hug, thanking me for watching the baby before screaming, "Thanks for coming to say hi to me my only son!"

I hear Colten groan and I laugh. She smiles cheekily when he trudges into the kitchen to give his mother a hug. I wave bye to them as they leave the property.

"Have fun?" My husband asks when I make it into our room, plopping down on the bed.

"Yeah," I smile. "He was so cute playing with your hat."

"Jackson said that he doesn't know where half his collection is due to the little monster." I laugh. Jackson must love that. "I bet you when he finds them they'll have teeth marks and drool."

I shake my head. "He barely has teeth, but I won't doubt you on the drool part."

"See," he chuckles, playing with a piece of my hair while he goes through his phone.

"Hey, Colten?" I look up at him. He turns off his phone and puts his full attention on me.

"Yeah?" He smiles.

"Um - would you - you know? Want to try again?" That sentence is a whole bunch of messed up.

Colten stops playing with my hair, his face becoming serious.

"Try for a baby?" I blush, but nod.

Ever since the first miscarriage, I've been very hesitant to have sex and try for a baby again. I'm scared to have sex mostly because I'm afraid that it will lead to another baby. I'm worried that if I try becoming pregnant again, that the same thing that happened last time will happen again.

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