My Difficult Life As Louis Tomlinson's Sister

Chapter 16

One month...One month was I already on tour with the boys. It was the living hell. I ignored Louis since the first tour day, one month ago. He often tried to talk to me, but I wouldn't let him. Louis hurt me so much. How could he think I'm an attention searching bitch?! I mean attention searching bitches would show how broken they are... I am never ever showing that! I try to hide behind a wall. The wall I build myself as I was younger. The wall that I build as the kids began to be mean to me.

Okay... Tumblr helped me really much, too. Tumblr was my only friend. I got always invited to some stupid shows, but I never ever repeated to one of the mails. I didn't want to show my face. In the last time didn't I post something. The last thing I posted was 3 and a half weeks ago.

Scars won't heal and you can't do something. You can just take the bottle and forget about it for a moment.. a really short moment.

called the headline over my picture. On the picture was me with a vodka bottle and a cigarette in my hand. I was only in black lace lingerie, so that everyone could see my scars on my thighs.

Since this post wasn't I on Twitter or Tumblr so far.

I sat in the tour bus next to Zayn in front of the TV as we were on our way to their first show in europe, in Paris. The other boys were eating or sleeping. Zayn and I watched some news shit... I thought shit.

"Blogger and side model of the biggest blog in the whole wide world, didn't post something in the last 3 and a half weeks! We are all worried about her. She was the most famous internet person. She has over 15 million Followers on her Tumblr blog and over 10 million Followers on Twitter. She wasn't just an inspiration for million of people. She was a beauty. We never saw her face and maybe we will never see because she maye commited sucide. She was the biggest idol of million of girls. She tweeted and blogged most of the time about her life and said people they should stay strong because she didn't want them to end like them.

The last last picture which she posted was herself showing all over with scars. Nobody knew so far that she cut. A lot people were thinking that cocaine lay behind her on the bed and on the ground but it isn't sure. We hope a lot that she is still alive and that we hear soon about her. If not Rest In Peace. Broken Angel, Palemenia."

My mouth flew open and Zayn looked shocked. Did he know her?

"Well, thats kind of sad..." Zayn said and I rolled my eyes.

"Always these rumors." I mumbled and took my iPhone out. I saw that #RIPPalemenia was trended wide world. I rolled my eyes and tweeted a twitlonger with this hashtag.

" #RIPPalemenia Well, I know I am suicidal, but I think when I commit suicide one day I will at least upload a video with my good bye saying... and I would of course show you my face. I would show you the true me and how I read it all... I guess a lot of you know me, or maybe not? You will not know it till the day I commit suicide...okay...maybe I won't commit suicide... I don't know.. When my life becomes just a little bit worser I think I will do... but I give my life one last change.

Maybe I will be happy one day? But maybe not.

Stay away from alcohol, drugs and knifes! I am being serious! You don't want to end like me. Try to see things positive.

Love Ya All and Stay Strong!!! "

"Did ya know that this Palemenia girl lives in Doncaster?" Zayn asked me and looked up from his iPhone. My eyes widened as he said that.

"Wherefrom do you know that?!" I asked him shocked.

"Wikipedia said it." Zayn said and chuckled. Well, wherefrom does Wikipedia knows that? Weird?