My Difficult Life As Louis Tomlinson's Sister

Chapter 28

9 days left...

9 days till my big day. I can't believe it's really happening. I already planed everything. It will be so big. It will be my day. The world will looking at me and will cry, scream, laugh and be happy.

So. Why the hell did I begin with all the stuff? Why did I take drugs in the first place and why the hell did nobody notice?

You need to know a few details about me. I have caring family but I don't think they mean it like it. When I cry and want them near me, they don't want to be near me. When I am crying on the lap of my big brother and he has important stuff to do but I tell him I need him right now, he doesn't stay he walks away to his important stuff. Well, I can understand him. Who would want to be near some fat and ugly kid like me? And this feeling to be worthless is a reason why I began to take drugs. I couldn't live like this anymore. I could't live a life where I wasn't important to anyone. The only persons where I have the feeling to be loved are you guys. You are the one and only. You guys make me stay strong and I can't thank you all enough, you made my life worth living.

Another reason is that I can't live in the steps of my brother. Everyone loves my brother and begins to compare me with him. It isn't nice to live a life like that. It isn't nice when your parents know that you are fucking depressed but wont do anything against it. It sucks.

Louis' POV

"Lou! I can't believe it! I tried to start a new world trend but a blogger is trend number one!" I heard Harry scream from our living room and the curious me who I am walked in the living room so that I could stalk her together with Harry.

"What does the trend say?" I asked Harry and his eyes widened shocked.

"#9daystogostaystrong and #pleasedontdosomethingstupid..." Harry mumbled and clicked on a blog link. Harry's eyes widened as he read the text from today.

"...this girl has really much self doubt. She should go on a therapy!" Harry said and chuckled. I read it over and over again.. It was horrible and I hope that poor girl stays strong.

I tweeted a tweet asking about her.

"Who is this famous bloggerin everyone is talking about?"

I asked and got a lot answers really fast.

Some people are saying it's a little sister from a famous actor I didn't know. Some girls say that it's just some high school girl with a popular brother and some people say that it's Eleanor. I was annoyed as hell as I read that some people were telling me it was Liz. They should all shut up if they don't know about life.

I took my iPhone and called Eleanor and after that mom.

"How is Liz doing?" I asked my mom and she seemed really annoyed as I asked that.

"Perfect. She eats a lot and gained over 20Ibs!" My mom said and that made me think about that all. Liz would never eat so much.

"Is she smiling enough?" I asked her and my mother chuckled.

"Everything is perfect Louis. Don't worry about Liz, worry about your tour." My mom said and I rolled my eyes annoyed. My mom was always pissing me off but to the same time was she one of the most important woman in my life.

"Well, see you in 9 days on Lizzy's 18th birthday! Don't tell her that me and the boys are coming." I said and grinned at the idea of it.

Lizzy's POV

The day was boring as hell. I sat the whole time in my room and watched TV. My decision was 100% the right decision. I opened my Twitter app and noticed that a lot stars asked about me, even my all so famous brother. I read all the tweets and laughed amused. I hated famous persons.

I closed my eyes and fall asleep after a long day. Only a few days left. I can't believe it I am going to really do that shit...

8 days left...

Okay I really wanted to tell you something! Do you know how it is to have a meltdown just because of one boy? It's a weird world. You find out a boy you really like and who acts like he would like you too is now together with a really good friend of you? It's like someone hit you really hard in your tummy, but well it hurts more... you look emotionless in the air and force yourself to smile. To smile is always better than to cry, if you cry people ask why and then you would lie or tell them everything and that would hurt more than to smile. Don't show weakness, show that you are strong.

After you find out about them both you will tell your best friend or someone who knows about your feelings for the boy. I'm sure you told someone! Whatever you will end up drunk in the end of the day. That isn't exactly a problem... but all of the sudden your friend who is together with the boy you love tells you everything about the boy and her per iPhone. You will tell it your best friend with who you are drinking to the time. You will began to laugh because he is such an asshole. After you got drunk you will throw everything up, not only because of the alcohol. More because your heart is so broken that it just happens. After you threw up happens something...you will begin to cry and tell your friend how truly hurt you are. The next day you regret that all and tell her you lied and that all just because you don't want anyone to know how broken and depressed you really are...

This story was more meaningful than the others. It remembered as it happened to this time as Louis just left. A boy and I chatted really nice and one day he was in a relationship with a really good friend. It hurt so much and I felt like shit. I never trust boys after this again. I thought he liked me but how could he I was fat and ugly?

Harry's POV

I was on Twitter and read the Trends over and over again. I began to read the tweets from this girl over and over again. I looked at her pictures over and over again. This girl seemed so familiar but I didn't know who it could be. I fucked a lot girls and maybe she was one of them. She looked like someone I would fuck.

I swallowed as I read her daily posts over and over again. Maybe she was... no she couldn't. My mind is just fucking with me.

"Okay boys I told management that we won't be able to be on this show because of Liz's birthday." Liam said and I nodded not looking up.

"You think we could bring our girlfriends?" I heard Louis ask and I heard Zayn chuckle from somewhere. I didn't care the whole conversation. I was thinking.

"Mate you can't just bring Eleanor along. Liz hates her." Zayn said and chuckled more. In this point was Zayn right. Liz really hated El.

"Yeah...maybe you are right.." Louis said and sighed.

"But who is she? She looks so familiar." I mumbled and the boys looked at me.

"Who?" Niall asked and I looked up, I didn't notice that I said it out loud.

"Oh this Tumblr girl... I know her but I don't know where from..." I mumbled and the boys looked at me amused.

"Some bitch you fucked or what?" Louis said and laughed. I looked seriously at him.

"I don't know.. maybe but maybe it's something we all won't believe." I whispered the last part.

Liz's POV

7 days left...

One week till my big day. I get a lot of messages and well, some of you guessed right who I am. Okay you tweeted me like 1000000 stars names but a few persons were right.

Anyway. A lot of you asked me how it is to live with an eating disorder. Just think about it as if someone is in your head and tells you every 3 seconds that you are ugly and fat and not worth living. Just like some bully, but the person in my head won't go away. It will always be a part of me and it will always be.

I will never be happy with myself and the little voice in my head is the course for it. The little person in my head is horrible and mean. But the problem is that I believe the person and that I have the feeling that everything would be worse when I wouldn't listen to this voice... Another problem is that when I eat I feel weak and like I lost control, that's why I throw up after meals. It makes me feel like I have control about something. It makes me feel alive... Well that's kind of my life with eating disorder.