My Difficult Life As Louis Tomlinson's Sister

Chapter 31

I know you probably hate me for not updating but well... something bad happened and I couldn't put myself together to update. I am sorry, really sorry. So here is the next update.

I wrote it on my iPhone so sorry for mistakes!

One month ago I tried to kill myself. I saw my whole life go past me as I was near the death, it was peaceful to die. As I woke up nobody sat next to my bed and I was happy about it. I was over one week in coma, that's why nobody was there. The doctors came all in as I slowly woke up. They tried to speak to me but I couldn't form any words, till they said they would call my family now.

"I don't want them to visit me." I let out as a whimper but the doctors nodded not pleased with my words.

"I don't want to see them." I whispered stressfully. They nodded and that was all I remembered before I fell asleep.

How I said it was 3 weeks ago. Now I am in some clinic for people with some mental disorders. Well, I was in treatment for many things. Bulimia, Anorexia, cutting, depressions and drug use were a lot to the same time. I got like the most people in here medicine for my disorders. The medicine helped a little bit but I still felt sad and didn't want to contact my family. I got tones of letters from Louis and my mom and dad but I didn't bother to answer them. I didn't want to.

"Liz, I can totally understand why you are like this today." My room mate Jessica said as we were outside for a smoke. We were both full age and so allowed to smoke outside the clinic. Jessica was here because of taking laxative and becoming addicted to it and because she was bulimic.

"You do?" I asked her and took another drag. She just arrived a few days ago but we became closer each day.

"Yeah, my big sister is a model. She was since her childhood perfect. Perfect body, perfect grades, perfect everything." She said annoyed and took another drag.

"My parents always said I should be more like her." She continued and I saw the hate in her eyes by mentioning her parents.

"Well, I think I became this way because of my parents. They gave me the feeling that I wasn't good enough and that my sister was the most important thing in their lives." Jessica said took a long drag on her cigarette.

"Being the little sister of some boy band boy is hard I guess." She said and I nodded.

"It's not that, I really love Louis. He i- was like my best friend and I was really happy for him that he is that famous now... but I felt so worthless. Well, the drugs helped me thinking clear." I said and chuckled frustrated.

"You know I really liked me as I was little." I said frustrated and amused to the same time. Jessica raised her eyebrows and waited for me to continue.

"I liked how I looked, I liked what I wore. I was confident to say it in one word." I whispered and sighed sadly.

"I never liked me." Jessica said emotionless. I slugged and looked on my cigarette.

"Your Tumblr was always my inspiration to not give it." Jessica whispered and my eyes widened by her confession.

"That was the sense for it. I wanted to show people that first of all you can manage to reach your goal and second of all to show you that there is always someone who is more fucked up than you." I said and took a deep breath.

"Liz! Jessi! Your lunch is finish!" Our guardian yelled and we rolled our eyes and walked in the lunch room. We sat down on our seats and Diana (our guardian who we call Dini all the time), sat down in front of us.

"Dini-" I whined and Diana sighed already knowing I wanted something from her.

"What is it this time sweat heart? I'm sorry but you can't watch movies with people who have disorders anymore." She said thinking that I was going to ask her for the twentieth time whether I could watch my favorite show in TV but I got it that I am not going to watch them.