My Difficult Life As Louis Tomlinson's Sister

Chapter 21

*Liz' POV*

I looked on the ground all the time, I was so done with the back and forth bettwen Harry and me. Why couldn't he just love me?
Zayn and I walked into the room where Niall, Liam and Louis were. They played video games. I faked my smile and walked towards Louis. I don't know why I walked to him, but I needed him. He knew how to cheer me up, he was always there for me as I had stress in school or with our parents which happened more than often. He always protected me, well till the day he left.
Louis' eyes widened as he noticed that I wanted to sit down on his lap.
He stopped playing and took me on his lap. I cuddled in his chest and hid my face in it.

"What happened?" Louis whispered and pulled me closer to him.
"I'm just tired." Tired of life added my depressed self, but the thinking part of my brain didn't say these words for my luck.
"Just close your eyes. Remember what I always whispered in your ear as you were young and you had a bad dream or you had a fight with mom and dad?" Louis whispered in my ear and I shook my head.
"One day the poor Cinderella will become a Princess. A knight will find her and take her to his castle. She will be happy. She just needs to wait and fight." Louis said and I nearly cried as I remembered everything. He always told me about the castles, knights, fights and princesses. He always told me story's about it. It was the nicest memory from my childhood. Louis and his amazing fantasy made my life worse living. I loved my past life.
I cuddled in his chest and began to silently sob. The other boys didn't notice, but Louis does.
"Boys! 1 minute left! C'mon!" Paul said and I sobbed more.
"Louis. Please don't let me alone now." I whimpered and Louis sighed.
"I need to go princess." He said and I looked at him with my red, puffy eyes.
"Please, Louis. Don't leave me now." I whispered and Louis ran one hand thorough his hair.
"I am sorry, Liz. Let us talk after show." Louis said and lifted me up so that he could stand up. I felt my heart break. I needed Louis. I know it sounds really egoistic, but I needed someone now. I felt like shit, I needed family. I didn't want to be alone now. And there he walks on the stage, not turning around just one single time.
By this point I knew, he chose his life now, over his own little sister. It had more meaning to me than you could imagine. The only thing I wanted to do now was run, run as far away as possible. I ran away. Everyone was yelling my name. The bodyguards tried to catch me, but I was too fast. I just wanted to be Away, away from living and away from Louis and Harry. I wanted to be alone, for once. I wanted to be what I feel, loneliness.
"LIZ!" I heard Dan yell, I didn't answer. I ran out of the arena. I heard the bodyguards calling my name, but I ran too fast.
I stopped somwhere in a park and turned around, no one was on my heels. I was alone. I leaned again a hidden tree and began to cry. I was done with my life, so done. I lighted up one of my cigarettes and just sit in the gras and cried...
How could he do that to me? How could they do that to me? Why wasn't I important to anyone?

*Louis' POV*

"This show was amazing!" I said and smiled. I was so happy, I loved the adrenalin I had while being on stage. We walked to the backstage area. I was laughing along with the other boys as we walked away for changing, but them I remembered, Liz.
Where was my little sister? She was so down before the show. And now how I look at things without my adrenalin. Everyone was running around and Lou was even crying. What the fuck?! The most people were running around. Only Lou sat on a couch with Lux in her arms, crying. No one watched us, they were all busy. I began to cough and they looked up at me, ashamed?
"What happened?" I asked quietly. I didn't want to know what happened to be honest, I was too afraid that something happened with Lizzy.
"S-She r-run a-away! W-We s-search h-her a-already s-since 90 m-minutes!" Lou cried out and my eyes widened along with the eyes of the others.
"HOW THE FUCK COULD SHE RUN AWAY?! ISN'T IT THE JOB OF THE MOST OF YOU TO HAVE AN EYE ON US AND ALSO MY UNDERAGE LITTLE SISTER?!" I yelled pissed at them and they all swallowed. I was angry, and angry Louis was the meanest and nobody wanted to be in a room with an angry Louis.
"SO DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THIS! YOU WILL FUCKING SEARCH HER NOW! SHE ISN'T IN THIS DAMN ARENA THAT IS FACT SO MOVE YOUR BIG ASSES AND SEARCH HER! I TRY TO CALL HER! GO NOW!" I yelled and everyone did it.
"Don't be stupid Louis. We tried to call her million times! Her iPhone is in the bus!" Lou said at me and I rolled my eyes annoyed.
"Well, then do something! If something happens to her...it would all be my fault!" I said and began to cry.
"We will find her, mate." Harry said and hugged me. I nodded and calmed myself.
"She is so labile." I whispered and Harry looked at me worried and nodded.
"What if she hurts herself?" I whispered so that only Harry could hear. I needed now my best friend. Harry's eyes widened and he looked shocked at me. Well, I think I need to explain a lot to him. I took Harry by his sleeve and pulled him in a room where no one else where. Just Harry and I.
"Promise to not see Lizzy any different, okay? But I need to tell you something about her what only my mom, Lizzy and I know." I said and Harry nodded with wide eyes.
"So.. She did it as she was younger. Mom always called me and told me about her deep wounds, mom didn't know what to do. I told her to send Lizzy to a psychologist, but she didn't want to do it, she thought it would be a shame for the whole family... So I just got nearly every day the week a call that she had more and more scars and that they were deep. I was freaking out and told her to do something! I even wanted to take a break from the Take Me Home Tour but managment and mom wouldn't let me.
One day Lizzy didn't came home. We got a call from the hospital and they told us they found Lizzy somewhere in a park or something like that, I don't know anymore I was too skocked... She cut so deep that she nearly died. How would you feel if Gemma would do something like that? My own sister nearly commited sucide." I whispered and whipped a tear away.
"Mom and dad didn't visit her in the hospital and afterwards...they acted like they didn't know about any of it. They just continued living the fake life they had and Lizzy only became more and more depressed. I was always pissed and was in a bad mood, maybe you can remember? I mean how could they do something like that to their own child?! Their proud was too big to save her life. I mean after one suicide try comes the next try, or? I think so. I can't understand how my mom could be calm and watch her child dying?! It's impossible and if Lizzy would have commit suicide I would have never ever talk to my parents again! And I, the one who wanted to change something couldn't because of managment and my parents. It would have been also my fault if something would have happen to her.
One day mom heard purging and opened the bathroom door a little bit and watched Lizzy as she... Lizzy sat in front of the toilette and was forcing herself to vomit..." I took a deep breath and looked ashamed in Harry's eyes who looked like he would pass out every second.
"Mom called me that day and well, I told her Lizzy should come to us, okay told isn't the right word... I screamed at her and told her if she wouldn't bring Lizzy to me I would make her life to hell and then she did how she was told...Well, that's the real story why she is with us. She needs to be observed 24/7. Something bad could happen to her when she wouldn't.... I would lose her and I really don't want to lose her. I love her through hell and back. I hope you understand that all now... if not just think it would be Gemma. You would be the same protective brother." I whispered while whipping my tears away. Harry nodded and I saw some emotion I never saw before by him. What was that?
"Harry? I am afraid I will find her one day... With open wrists. Or too many pills in her system or hanging somewhere. Oh god! I am so afraid to lose her." I said while more tears streamed down my face. It felt so good that I told a friend about it. It was eating me out from inside.
"Harry, don't tell anyone. You are the only one who knows it. Not even Lizzy knows about that I know it. I am always so distanced towards her, because I am worried that I will tell her if we are too close. Today, before the show. She wanted to cuddle with me. I was so happy, but I couldn't be close to her, I just wanted to talk with her about everything, but I can't do it. If she would want to tell anyone, she would have already." I said and Harry nodded and swallowed...