My Difficult Life As Louis Tomlinson's Sister

Chapter 55

I always knew I would end like this. I always knew I would end up as a junkie. It was the fourth night I was on drugs. The fourth night I was out with people I didn't even know, but they were just as high as I was. It was the most beautiful feeling to forget everything and everyone. To mess around with people without even remembering the next morning. I was free.

"You know what? I freaking hate that song." A boy I forgot the name of said as Story Of My Life was in the radio of his Ferrari. Yeah, the people I hung up with were all really rich, but they hung on the needle like no other ones. I was the only one of them who didn't take strong drugs.

"Oh, tell me about it." I said laughing.

"I had to hear that every fucking night!" I said giggling and leaned my head against Matt's shoulder. He was pretty hot. He had this mysterious junkie look. I don't know how to explain that look. It was this messy hair look, with these big bags under his eyes. Cool but messy clothes style. This cool aura. We both sat on the backseats. I half hung on his lap and half sat on the leather seat.

"How was it to tour with them?" Matt asked me while lightening a cigarette.

"It had bad and good sides, but I don't want to talk about them." I mumbled still high. I pulled his cigarette out of his hand and took a drag of it smiling. He grinned and pulled me all the way on his lap. He kissed me deeply and I really enjoyed kissing him.

Thirty-five days later

I can't really remember the past days because I was too dazed. Some days I didn't even remember my own name and just to make this clear, I didn't even took heroin or crystal or anything like those drugs.

Today was a calm day, maybe that's why I remember that day. I was just in a hotel and slept till the early evening. As I woke up I dressed in some really slutty clothes and got out of the five stars hotel.

I walked along the streets of London's high society and felt a little bit lost. I had enough money to be a part of them but I totally didn't feel like I belong to them. I feel lost in the big wide world.

"Wow, watch it!" I ran in someone and I thanked god that I looked so different. It was Harry. Sure, the tour was over since a few days.

My hair was dyed in a really dark brown and I had a side cut in my hair. I was way smaller than normally and I looked like some cheap crack whore.

Our eyes met for what felt like hours but in reality it were just a few seconds.

"Wait are -" He started talking but I ran. I ran as fast as I could. Tears were streaming down my face.

I collapsed in a side street and I started to cry completely.

I pulled my new iPhone out and went on Twitter. How I already told you, this was the first day, since 35 days, I could think normal and where I wasn't on drugs.

I read all the things I saw about me. There were only a few photos where I was seen on parties with Cara but since 14 days weren't any new pictures of me, maybe because I changed so much. I look like a complete different person.

My eyes widened as I read everything about me. How could that happen?! How could I end up like this?! What did I do to myself?!

I sat there what felt like hours. I couldn't calm myself. I was sobbing and crying. I don't even know if it was because of my life or because I didn't have any drugs with me. Why did I mess up like this in living?

Another twenty days later

It was one of these days I could remember of. I wasn't on drugs or anything like that. I had now my own little apartment in London. It was a really nice apartment but it was hard to get one while being on drugs like all the times. It was in a big building with a lot of flats.

I was now really looking anorexic. I was only skin and bones.

I was now on this point where I didn't even remembered the reason why I started with all the drugs stuff.

I remembered my Twitter account and went online. I saw a tweet to me and the little part of my brain I could think with recognized the person. It was the young mother with her little girl who had cancer.

She tweeted me that she hoped I was fine and that the operation went well and that her little daughter is asking for me every day.

My eyes widened and I lurched in the bathroom where I threw up the little rest of drugs and alcohol which was in my tummy.

I lurched out of the my apartment and sat minutes later in a taxi...