Tapunan Ng Feelings

Rooftop

She had always dreamt of flying. She envies anything that she sees floating in the sky. She waves at airplanes and imagines the people inside either bored out of their minds or looking out the window down at her. She traces tails of kites and balloons freely navigating the skies. She wishes she had wings so she could chase the birds in the sky or follow them wherever they go.

The thing is, she's afraid of heights. She likes the idea of hovering and floating, but immediately feels nauseous at the idea of being up there, above everything else, not knowing how far her feet are off the ground.

Here on the rooftop of this five-star 24-story hotel, she shakily walked towards the thick metal railings that were tall enough for people to not go over to the narrow ledge. She watched her feet take one step at a time, making sure they were safely touching the ground. She wondered briefly where she had left her shoes when she ran up here. Once she reached the railings, she looked straight over the horizon, then up to the clouds, refusing to look down, knowing that the view from below will surely make her walk backwards and away from what she wants to overcome.

She observed the silence in those heights. The peaceful music of the winds passing was helping her keep her heartbeat at bay and her nerves relaxed. She sees a cluster of skyscrapers on the far right, telling her where downtown is. On the far opposite side are mountains shaped like the silhouette of a woman lying down. Way farther over everything else was the ocean meeting the end of the sky, about to kiss the setting sun. The sky was turning every shades of purple, as the sun slowly bid goodbye.

She wants to fly, right this second. She wants to leave everything behind and live in the clouds. She wants to follow the sun. She wants to float in the lavender swirls or play with the birds and catch the balloons that escaped the ground.

So there on the ledge, she imagined herself flying. She lifted her right foot and stepped on the lower railing, then her left foot immediately followed. Her long & wavy, ash brown hair danced as she imagined traveling the wind with abandon. She closed her eyes and opened her arms wide and welcomed the feel of freedom. Her white lacy dress clung to her body, the long train seemingly torn between escaping with the wind or holding on to dear life by her silky legs. She felt the wind caressing every inch of her outstretched arms and every bit of her exposed neck. She felt it wiping every drop of tears she had been shedding.

Today she planned on overcoming her fear of heights and fulfilling her dream of flying. It's the only way, she thought. It's the only way to accept this freedom.

She decided to go one level higher and stepped on the middle railing. There she felt the top railings just above her knee, letting her entire torso free to be enveloped by the raging breeze. It felt colder now that the sun was almost tucked in to bed. She didn't mind. She ignored the shivers that started to crawl up her legs to her spine, up to her neck and the top of her head. She just stayed there and savored the last few moments before she would lose the feeling of feeling.

She lifted her right foot and stepped on the top railing. But as she was about to lift her left foot to meet the other, two strong hands grabbed and pulled her by her tiny waist. She lost her balance and fell on top of him on the floor, screaming for dear life.

"What the hell?!" She yelled while she struggled to get up from the floor, but she was trapped by the two strong hands still locked around her waist.

"Let me go!!!" She tried to yank the arms off of her to no avail.

"Miss, I will not let you go until you swear to your most loved one's grave that you will not jump off the ledge!" The deep voice of the strong arms calmly said, too close to her ears that she felt his lips brush lightly on her earlobe. Goosebumps immediately sent tingles all over her and made her weak and breathless.

"Jeez, I wasn't going to jump!" At least not yet, she thought.

"Promise to your most loved one's grave or I swear to God either we'll lie here all night or I will carry you to the lobby myself!" He half yelled.

"Alright! Alright! I'm not going to jump, I swear to my parents' grave!" She said, defeated.

Slowly, he loosened his arms around her waist and carefully let her go. She immediately stood up, almost tripping over her train. Once upright, she smoothed her dress and frantically removed invisible dust all over it with her hands, then carelessly pushed her wild hair away from her face.

"Miss, are you alright?" He said, while rubbing his lower back, trying to hide the pain from the fall. He could already imagine his bruises.

She was going to say something rude like why do you care or it's none of your business, but she lost her tongue when she looked up and got an eyeful of his handsome face perfectly illuminated by the diffused lights below the railings-- dark hair lightly brushed his forehead, warm brown eyes anyone can get lost in, perfect lips for kissing, and the deepest dimple she'd ever seen. She was mesmerized.

But before she could utter a word, everything moved around her and dizziness took over.

He ran in time to catch her and they landed on the floor again.

"Miss? Miss!" He shook her and lightly tapped her cheek. She slowly opened her eyes, and that's when he noticed that behind the ruined mascara were the saddest empty eyes he's ever seen.

"I'm... ok... I think..." She tried to get up but he stopped her.

"Miss, I think you should just lie down for a while and--"

"Please don't leave me..." She whispered, then tears started rolling down her cheeks as quiet sobs slowly wracked her body in his arms.

"Please don't leave me..." She repeated in between sobs.

"Okay... shhhh... okay... I won't..."

-------------

A/N: Feelings. Andami ko lang po feelings. Pasensha na po. Also thinking about turning this po into a full fic. Bahala na si Wonderwoman. Thank you po for reading. As always, I appreciate po your comments. Goodnight!