Tapunan Ng Feelings

Coming Home

"Hello? Hello! Pre! Nadidinig mo ba ko? Teka teka, naglalakad na ako... Oo andito na, teka lalabas na ako. Hello? Oh eto na, pasakay na ng taxi. Sorry ang hina ng signal sa loob ng airport. Hintayin mo na lang ako dyan. Eto na pasakay na kong taxi. Sige, see you later pre! Sige, babye babye."

*****

Thursday was the worst day of the week for me. I found out I failed the boards on a Thursday. The work presentation I bombed was last Thursday. My car was coded every Thursday, so I borrowed my kuya's big ass SUV every Thursday. My Kuya died on a Thursday, and it became my weekly "date" with my him when I talked to him while I drove his car, like he was still here.

"Alam mo Kuya, kung andito ka, hindi ako male-late sa presentation ko last week. Kasi for sure, ipapagdrive mo ko. Ang daya mo naman kasi. Tama bang iwanan mo kaming lahat nang ganun ganun lang? Nakakatampo ka. Hmp."

I stopped at a red light. 175 seconds, the light countdown flashed.

"Ito na yata ang pinakamatagal na red light sa balat ng lupa."

If kuya was still here, he'd tell me na ako na ang pinaka-impatient na taong pinanganak sa mundo, na sandali lang ang 175 seconds. Na mabilis ang oras at maikli lang ang panahon.

Every Thursday, naaalala ko yung ilang beses na pinagsabihan ako ng Kuya ko about life. Lagi nyang sinasabi sa akin noon na while it's true na life is short, hindi rin tayo dapat laging nagmamadali o nagpapadalos-dalos. Sabi nya sakin noon, bago ako mag-boards, take my time daw to review. Wala namang kailangang ipagmadali. Pero matigas ang ulo ko. I didn't even enroll sa review center. Nagtake ako ng exam sa earliest date after I completed the requsite internship hours sa firm.

99 seconds. Grabe ang bagal ng oras ng light na to. I stared at the countdown until it was down to 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...

I carefully let go of the brakes. 4, 3, 2... at the exact turn of red light to green, I stepped on the gas.

I was confused for a second until cars around me started honking from all directions.

A middle-aged man furiously knocked on my car window, while scratching his head. Then an MMDA officer started heading our way.

I froze in my seat. "Kuya, anong gagawin ko?"

I started crying.

*****

"Oo pre, Ortigas area na yata to. Lapit na. Traffic lang. Sige na. Tawagan kita ulit mamaya pag malapit na ko dyan. Sige, bye."

I looked around the traffic jam all around us, the random people walking and crossing, billboards, the pollution. It's been years since I last visited Manila. I smiled. No matter how long I stayed abroad, sa Manila pa rin ako at home.

"Manong, wala pa rin pinagbago ang traffic dito sa Maynila ano? Malapit na po ba tayo sa Philippine Stock Exchange no?" I asked the taxi driver who was whistling to a song on the radio tungkol sa buwan.

"Yes ser, matagal lang talaga tong trapik light dito. Peto paglampas naman dito, wala na hong trapik ser."

I stared at the traffic light countdown.

"Ah buti naman. O ayan malapit na mag-green, Manong. 3, 2, 1! Let's go!"

Ang bilis ng tapak ni Manong taxi driver sa gas.

"Blag!"

Nagulat ako. At first, hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari, then I noticed the car in front of us.

"Ay maryosep naman! Green na o bakit nagpreno!!! Teka lang ser, bababain ko lang. Hayop tong drayber sa unahan biglang nagpreno eh green na!"

Wala na kong nasabi. I watched the taxi driver walk over to the other car we just hit and knock on the window, hanggang na nagbusinahan na lahat ng sasakyan sa paligid namin.