Tapunan Ng Feelings

Parting

MAINE

"Bye, love," I whispered to myself as the van carrying my heart drove away.

He's gone. After 3 weeks of having him attached to my hip, he's gone. I hate to say this and I will sound ungrateful, but even if I have a week off just wandering around the rest of Europe, I can already feel that this is going to be the longest week of my life.

I couldn't cry when he was saying goodbye. I had to cheer him up. I wish we had that last few hours or minutes to ourselves, savor that hug, and maybe I could have kissed him one more time. When he pulled me in for a tight embrace, I almost lost it, and I didn't want to let go, but I knew I had to be the one to keep it together for both of us.

But as soon as he rode the van and it slowly drove away, there was no way I could stop my tears as the overwhelming surge of sadness engulfed me.

"Nak, o." Mr. T quietly handed me his handkerchief.

"Sorry, Meng." Ms. Jenny took pity on me, and led me back inside the hotel lobby, away from the overly amused fans.

I sat on one of the plush couches in the corner, where just a few hours ago, right after we finished zipping up all our luggages, I was sitting with RJ, my leg intertwined with his, his arm finding home around my shoulder. He played with my hair, while I draw circles on his knee. We didn't even talk. We just sat there, all too content to just be close together. I felt him kiss my hair softly a couple of times, but I didn't say anything. I just snuggled closer.

That's where I let it all out. I had to let out my loneliness. It was like half of my being was snatched away from me and I could not survive any longer. In a few minutes, we will be leaving as well to see the other parts of Europe. I should be excited, but here in Como, this is where we shared the most amazing three weeks of our lives, since July 16. If most lovers have Paris, we will always have Como. I know I probably look like a stray child crying for her mommy, but my tears seem to have a life of their own, and my bereft heart is just continuously hurting.

It's only been a few minutes and I am already dying of misery. I miss him terribly and all I could ever wish for now are his arms around me, his lips on mine.

"Maine, it's time to go." I didn't even notice Mr. T approaching me. I wonder how long he stood there and watched me cry over my RJ. I looked in his eyes and all I could see was genuine concern or maybe guilt for being one of the reasons why I was not there in that van cuddling with RJ right now. This snapped me back to reality.

I slowly wiped my tears and stood up. Well, life goes on. But like I said, this is going to be the longest week ever.

RJ

It took all of my self control not to kiss her right there and then, in front of everyone. Damn everyone around us. All I wanted was to spend the last few minutes to hold her and kiss her hair, her ear, her cheek, her lips... oh her lips, I will miss the most. I knew having her beside me for three weeks almost 24/7 was too good to be true. We knew our schedules ahead and anticipated this parting, but it was still painfully unbearble. All eyes were on us, and I could not do anything more than to hold her in my arms and hold on as long as I could. I know we are both fighting back the tears and really could not say anything sensible. She appointed herself to be the stronger one, like she always does. I had half a mind to pull her back to the hotel to do the things I want to do to her... but it was time to go and I had no choice but to ride the van, and wave goodbye.

Here I am, my arms crossed over my chest, craving the feel of my Maine in my arms. There was no point in trying not to bawl my eyes out. I just let it all out. I couldn't see Ms Therese's and Kuya Sam's reactions, but Mama Ten was just her quiet self, just always being there for me.

It's only been a few minutes, but here I am ugly crying while staring outside the window. She probably thinks I didn't see her break down as soon as we drove away. She did not see me craning my neck, looking back at her until she disappeared from my sight. And even then, I stared and imagined that she was still there. This is going to be the longest week of my life.

*Viber*
RJ: I miss you already.😢
Maine: I miss you already, too.😢
RJ: Umalis na ba kayo?
Maine: Heto paalis pa lang.
RJ: This van feels so empty without you next to me.
Maine: I feel so empty without you next to me.
RJ: I'm so sorry, love.
Maine: It's okay, love. I understand.
RJ: Thank you, love. Pls tandaan mo, kahit magkalayo tayo, tayong dalawa lang, ikaw at ako. I love you.
Maine: Tama na tong drama natin, one week lang naman. Sundo mo ko sa airport ha? And yes of course, kahit anong mangyari, tayong dalawa lang. I love you, too.

MAMA TEN

Pag minamalas ka nga naman, 12 hrs pang delayed ang flight namin. Kawawa naman tong alaga ko.

"Nak, ok ka ba?"
"Ok lang ako, Ma."
"Talaga ba?"
"Oo nga, Ma."
"Hindi ako sanay nang ganyan ka, Nak."
"Sorry, Ma. Miss ko lang si Meng. One week din yun."
"Sorry, Nak ha."
"Ayos lang, Ma. Sige idlip muna ako."
"Sige, Nak. Gisingin na lang kita kapag may update yung flight."
"Thanks, Ma."

Hay. Ang Tisoy ko. Almost nine years ko nang alaga to. Usually makulit tong alaga ko eh. Kapag tengga kami, ako lagi napapagdiskitahan at sa akin tinetesting lahat ng filter daw yun sa snapchat. Ako lagi ang biktima nya, pampasmile daw kay Meng. Isang beses, naiidlip ako, biglang humagalpak ng tawa ang loko kaya nagising ako. Tinanong ko kung anong nakakatawa, pinakita sakin eh picture kong tulog na pinadala daw nya kay Meng at sabay silang naghagalpakan ng tawa. Yang dalawang yan, talaga naman kapag nagsanib pwersa ng kulet, ang sarap pag untugin at layasan! Iba at may sariling mundo! Pero ngayon, mas gusto ko pa na paglaruan nya na lang ako like he usually does (naks, nag english ang Mama Ten nyo, o diba?) kesa yung ganyan sha katamlay. Hindi ako sanay. Nadudurog din ang puso ko kapag nakikita ko syang ganyan. Sabi nga ni Sam, sa twitter, wasak daw ang puso ng aldub nation dahil magkahiwalay na naman ang dalawa. Eh mga iha at iho, pano pa kaya ako na heto at nasa harapan ko naghuhimiyaw ang lungkot ng alaga ko, kahit tulog!

Sus, parang bata kung matulog. Nakanguso pa sa unan nya. Ang noo nito, naku, magkakawrinkles, tulog na't lahat, naka kunot pa. Jusko tong batang to.

Alam nyo, hindi naman ganyan yan dati eh. Ngayon lang sha nagkaganyan. Noon kase...

"Mama Ten, sinong katext mo?"
"Ha? Wala naman."
"Wala eh bakit seryoso mo magtype dyan?"
"Hoy Sam, ako tigil tigilan mo ha."
"Eto naman, di na mabiro. Lika dito, sabayan mo na lang kami manood ng past episodes ng Kalyeserye. Mahaba habang hintayan tong delay ng flight natin."
"Oo nga, Mama Ten, lika dito. Hayaan mo na muna umidlip dyan si Alden."
"Sige na nga."

O sha, mamaya ko na lang ulit ako magkukwento. Kulit ng dalawang to, mukang nahawahan na din ni Menggay.

-----------
A/N: So ayun na nga. Dahil sa dami ng feelings ko today, ayan napasulat ako na wala sa oras. Sana nagustuhan mo kase first ko to na pinabasa in public 😭 nahihiya ako so easy lang kayo sa comments ha, wag muna mashadong masakit kase newbie writer huhu but yeah. So yun, kung gusto nyo pa, tweet me - @pandita0314 ayun sobrang salamat sa pagbasa! 😊