The Partial Journal of Kona Firestar

8/4/2016

It's... unsettling. The thought of her is so enchanting but the details of the situation is so upsetting. What I've risked, it was worth it, but is it now? I made a wish. And it came true, somewhat. She is not completely my own, but she is mine. She has every fracture, every shard of my heart in poems, in notes. In kisses and pictures, in memories of us. She has every piece of me, but I don't know how to handle it. I can only make such a strong loving bond with someone only so many times in my life, and I fear I will never feel the same or stronger for someone else later in life. It's so hard to find someone who is just perfect in my eyes, willing to do for me as I am to do for them. But now that I've completely given myself up for this girl, I don't know how to handle myself anymore. I have lost my mind, because she has driven me crazy. She sparks my anger like a forest fire, and she soothes my pain like a swimming pool. She can control me like a puppet, but I still have feelings. I am a human being, but she is like the queen of my world, she is my goddess. I would bow to her to please her, I'd do just about anything, but those sacrifices are... I don't know what they are. But they're sacrifices, and I mean what I say. I would do just about anything and everything for her, and I don't know how I'm supposed to make that feeling go away. Distance doesn't help. It never has, I guess. I tried distance. The only thing to take her off my mind is probably amnesia, and I don't plan to forget her like I forgot my accident. See, people speak of forgetting things, but if you forget, you'll never learn. I know that. So, I guess this is my entry for today. I'm gonna start naming dates for the title of entries like these. Poems are just gonna have names. Okay.

I don't really care if you guys comment on my writings, please don't be afraid to. I accept opinions and such. Have a good day.