The Partial Journal of Kona Firestar

You. You, you, you...

You suffocate me. The sight of you takes my breath away. The thought of you makes me tremble... Us. We were something once. I thought we would last... but another stole me away from you. And I regret it all. I can't seem to move on, to let you go. You were and are everything to me. Distance makes my emotions for you numb. But were we to talk again, they'd come flooding back, overwhelming me so. You make my heart race. Why do I listen? I'm gullible. And I still don't know why I ever left alone. I hurt you, but I also hurt myself. I regret it all... If you were to allow me to have you as my own again, I would take you back, and I would never leave you. You never left me... did you? It's all my fault. I take the blame. And you'll never read this. You wouldn't care, would you? I don't make you happy anymore, do I? I asked you that very question and you never responded. I left because I had no choice. My heart was shattered, I was desperate. All I was trying to do was get over you 'cause they told me to. They demanded it. If I could go back, knowing what to do, without a second thought, I would swear on my life I would never leave you. I swear on my life I will never leave you again, if you gave me one last chance. You were the only exception to my lies... I would've told you everything, if I could. I would be so honest with you. Brutally honest with you. But honesty is my thing now, and I am being honest now, brutally so. You are so beautiful, and I love you with all of my heart. I want you back so bad... And someday, maybe, I'll see you. I wish. I have wished upon wished bones, I have wished upon dandelions, I wished upon candles for all I've ever wanted. My birthday I wished for you, though I was with another. I yearn for you, your forgiveness, your heart. Can you be mine again? Or a better question: Will you be with me once more and give me one more chance? You're taken, from what I heard. Curiosity kills me about you... I wonder how you're doing, I wonder if you're really okay. I wonder if you ever think about me like I think about you, because I love you with all of my heart, and you just won't leave my mind. Honestly, leaving you was the worst mistake of my life, and I've been so alone ever since...