Society kills me, the way it works here. The worst of it is in Tacoma, or the worst that I've seen. Other places may be so... peaceful. But we're all a piece of society. No one wins. Only if you do what you're told, right? Do chores at home and listen to your parents even if they're wrong and you get what you want. Listen to your boss and do your job, no matter how irritating or aggravating it is, and you get your pay. Why do some people get what they want but we peasants have it so bad in life? I'm restless... I have control at my fingertips. I am a "rebel" because I speak for something worth speaking for, and I fight for how I see, how my logic works. I may not always have a rational look on the world, but all I know is there is nothing really worth my time anymore. Love is all there is, and i can't even tend to that all the time. I have to take care of siblings and my roommate and I am so sick of trying, attempting to be a peacekeeper, failing so miserably and my life is such a mess. Some people tell me I am so inferior to their needs. No one really helps me. "Take her to the doctor! She's mentally ill!" I don't need to be fixed! I need to be seen, heard. Notice me, damn it! I am fighting for something, fighting for a purpose, you naive imbeciles! I shake with such emotion and all I want is to be heard, no matter how inferior I seem to you, I am something. And I will fight until I am noticed. I will start a riot, goddamn it! Do not ignore me, I will not tolerate it. Debate with me, please, do it! I want you in my life! I am smart but maybe not smart enough to argue with in politics and government, but I speak for the people who see things my way. Those who understand, I would be ever so grateful if you could tell me I am not alone. Tell me I am not alone, because this is what takes up my time: thoughts. Think! Think, tell me that even though you are right, a narcissistic adult has told you that you are wrong, that you will never be anything more than what you are now, unless you follow their rules and do it their way, because they are so perfect, aren't they? WRONG. I don't care if I am crazy, some of the best people are. Einstein, Poe, Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, and a few more select few from I heard were INSANE because of they way they thought, they way they saw things was so extraordinary and out of place but they were smart and talented and they did what they did to impact our history! Please tell me I am not alone and that others do see things my way. This is my entry for the day.
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The Partial Journal of Kona Firestar
РазноеIn this I write my emotions. Journal entries, how my day went, my poetry (and maybe a few others). Some of you might notice song quotes intertwined with a few entries or poems. That is because some songs inspire me. So go ahead and read this. I'll p...
