With you I feel loved

Chapter 26

Jen's POV

So.. Now I really don't have much of a choice. Fuck my life. I have to choose between the steady, save relationship I have with Beau. And the 'spontaneous', unexpected, adventurous relationship with Harry.

But I've known Harry only for a short while. How can I know he can make me happy? If I choose Harry now and it turns out I don't feel happy with him anyway, I can always go back to Beau. The thing is, what if I don't get unhappy with Harry for the next 3 years.

If I run to Beau after 3 years, our kid will be three and then I'm just that weird mom that stands on the doorstep of her ex-boyfriend with whom she didn't have any form of contact in the past 3 years. Begging for a roof and forgiveness. Introducing the child and the father to each other. Expecting to receive love and care, forgiveness and a happy ending.

Life isn't like that. It's not all fun and games.
I need to choose my steady, safe and sound future now. Or better to say, my child's future. I will choose Beau! He will always be there for me and he's honest to me.

Beau's POV

"So how was the flight? Give me that bag, I'll carry it! You shouldn't be carrying heavy things in your condition."
"Ahh thanks! I will open the door then. Are you excited, Maya??? Our life in New York has officially began!"

Maya nods and gives Lina a warm smile. Lina is now 6 months pregnant so the baby is already coming in 3 months. They have just enough time to get used to their new home and arrange all the important stuff. I'm helping them move a little today.

The truck with their belongings arrived already so we can start unpacking and putting the furniture inside. The house has a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom and three bedrooms. None of the bedrooms are finished. The kitchen is finished. As well as the bathroom.

The living room is nearly finished. They only are waiting for the carpet and the furnitures to be placed. And the tv of course. I'm pretty excited about this.

It also keeps my mind off Jen. I want to find her. It's so hard for me, helping these two women move while they are pregnant. While Jen is pregnant too. I just wish I could care for her and the baby like I care for these women and their babies.

I want her back. I want Jen.

Jen's POV

"Harry?? Can I talk to you please?"
"Yeah sure."
We are both sitting in the living room. He is watching tv and I'm reading a book. He gave me some books I love.
"Well.. Since it's your birthday today.. I thought.. I wanted to buy something for you. Is that possible?"

"Ehh.. No it's okay. Please don't buy me anything. I'm already honored by your gesture."
"No. I want to. Come on, I really like to!"
"Sighhh... Okay then. We'll go to the shopping centre."

"Yessss!" I'm relieved. Finally I'm going to see something else than this castle and these mountains. It's so beautiful, but for a New York girl, I find it too quiet.

30 minutes later

We arrived in the shopping centre and I'm going in a store. I really don't know what i want to buy for him. It was actually just an excuse to find an internet cafe and send an email to Beau. Problem is, Harry is following me and keeping an eye on me.

I can't have a private moment. I'll have to write a note to the cashier and ask for help. Ask if he wants to send an email to Beau on behalf of me.

My dearest Beau,,

You must have been so worried about me. Don't worry. I'm safe and sound. I have a roof over my head, I have food, I have money.
All I need is time. Time to think. About us, about me. About my life, my future. Right now I don't know what I want. I am so sorry for leaving you like that without any trace.
I didn't have much of a choice tho. I have been unconcious for 5 days. Then I tried to find my identity back. Seems like I've been in trance or something. When I woke up I had no sense of time or place. I didn't know where I was or what date it was.
Right now, I'm fine. I went to the local doctor and I'm completely healthy.
I bet you found the baby room. Yes, it's true. I'm pregnant. We're having a baby. The baby is doing fine. I'm now 2 months pregnant.
I didn't want to shock you or anything. Let's just call it fate. It was my destiny to end up where I am today.
I hope everything is alright with you. Please stop looking for me. Tell the police I'm safe.
This is unfortunately the only message I can send to you. I don't know what will happen next but I hope I will see you soon. I miss you.
But again, I need time.
Thankyou.
Take care. I love you.

Love,
Jen.

I quickly write a postcard for Harry as well. I bought a nice looking watch for Harry. I let the cashier wrap it and in the mean time i ask him if he please please please can send this email to Beau's email adress. I write it down as neat as possible because i want to make sure he types the right email adress.

If he makes a misstake the email will never reach Beau. I thank the man a lot. Tho he does look kind of suspicious to me since Harry is keeping an eye on practically every move I make. "Mam, are you alright?" he askes.
"What?? Yeah.. Of course I am. Why?"

"Well, that man you came in with is constantly  staring at you."
"Ohhh. Yes!" I manage to laugh spontaneously. "It's his birthday and he's just so curious what I will buy for him!"

The man laughs and I salute him. Harry and I leave the building. Harry grabs me a bit hard so I walk faster.

We reach outside and I remove his hand from my arm. "Ouchhh what was that for??"