With you I feel loved

Chapter 29

Beau's POV

Since the 3 bedrooms and the living room arent completely finished yet, we are working on them today. I asked Jose to help us too and he was fine with it. He's my best mate so it's nice he wants to help.

"So.. Anything new about Jen?" He asks me while painting one of the bedrooms.
"No man.. It's like she vanished. Gone with the wind. Abra cedabra gone jennifer. I'm worried sick."

"How long has she been gone now?"
"Almost 2 weeks..."

"Shit man, it really sucks so bad.."
"Yeah tell me about it."
"Where do you think she could be?"
"I don't know. I stopped asking myself that question because it makes me crazy."

"Hmm.. I can imagine."
"And those twins.. When will they be born?"
"Still 3 months to go."
"And what if Jen comes back in that time? Then it must be a shock for her to find put youre gonna be a daddy in between 3, 2 or 1 month. Or even a few weeks. Or maybe you already are a dad by then."

"Well.... Jen's pregnant too..."
"What...!! You serious??"
"I guess so.. She made a babyroom in our house in the week I was in LA."

"But.. That could also just mean that she WANTS a baby with you. Not that youre already having one."
"Hmm.. I dont know man. I already knew she wanted a baby. And she knew I wanted one."

"And the cops?? They dont take more action? There could be a baby in danger now..."
"Yeah, I've told them. They don't really try very hard."

"And youre at NYPD yourself.. Don't you have some equipments tracking her?"
"I tried it all already. I've searched her phone, tracked her social media accounts.."

"Did you look in your house and her car for fingerprints?"
"No.. You think I should?"
"Well.. Yeah!!! That's the first thing I would think of! Come on, man! What kind of cop are you??"

"Fuck..."
"Go, beau, go safe that wife of yours!"
"She aint my wife... Yet.."
"And she wont ever be unless you find her! Alive."

Jen's POV

*knock knock*

"Come in!"

*door opens*

"Hi." Harry shyly stands in the door opening.
"Hi." I say. I dont know where to look. Im nervous.

"I read it"
"I figured"

Well this is kind of awkward..

"Soooo..."
"I cant let you go to New York."

Bam.. That's said.

"What.. W-why??" I ask surprised. Suddenly I feel sad and miserable. Homesick. Trapped. I feel like I don't have my own life in my hands. I don't get to decide what I do.

"It's risky for me."
"What do you mean risky???"
"How do I know you'll come back? How do I know you will not go to the cops? How do I know you didn't lie in that letter? Writing something down is an easy way to lie. Why didn't you tell me all of this face to face?"

The reason why I didn't tell him face to face is actually because writing the letter for Harry was just an alibi for him not finding out abouy my letter to Beau.

"I couldn't, okay? I just couldn't. Saying it out loud makes it all so official. Saying I don't love Beau makes me feel weird."

"So you do still love him?"

"I don't know. I think so. But not love love... Just we've been through so much together and I've spent a long time of my life with him. Giving up on him, seperate my ways from his... It makes it all so official. Besides.. I'm carrying his child. So even if I choose to leave him, he knows we have a kid together and he will want to spend time with our kid."

"So that's wht I can't let you go. You know you don't love him, right? Just don't go. Stay here. They'll think you are dead. He will maybe find his luck with another woman, you will continue your life happily with me and this baby. I will take care of you and her."

"Her?"
"Well... Yeah.. I think it's a she"
"You're insane!"

"Why!?"
"You're talking like you will be the daddy of this child! You abducted me! You dont want to let me go. Youre deciding how my life will go from now on and now you think you know the gender of my unborn child??! What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!! Jen, you have to believe me! I love you!! I do this for you!!"

"If you love me you let me make my own decisions! You let me learn from my own mistakes! You dont control my life!"

"Sorry. I cant do that. You let me no other choice, Jennifer. I will take good care of you. You won't miss anything in your life. I will be the one for you."

"You can't. You will never be. Forget it."