With you I feel loved

Chapter 33

DAYS MISSING: 110
Days in Thailand: 62
Weeks until the baby arrives: 19

Jen's POV

"Are you okay?"
I look up into the big, worried eyes of Beau.
"Beau...!" I immediately want to sit up straight but there's something in my body stopping me.
"Jen, don't. You ehm.. I'm sorry Jen, but you are paralyzed. You can only move your head and your eyes, ears and mouth still work. The rest of your body is temporary paralyzed. They are organizing an operation for you in the next few weeks because you can't deliver the baby while paralyzed."

"The baby!!!!" My eyes widen and my heart beats faster than it has ever beaten before. "How is the baby, is everything okay???" I feel sweat appearing on my entire body and I have trouble controlling my breath.
"As far as they know, the baby is okay. You've hurt your back and that's why you are paralyzed. Your belly is almost undamaged."

"I'm sorry Beau, I never wanted to leave you." I cry.
"Shhhh, baby, it's okay. They got Harry and he confessed everything. He's not coming out of jail for the next few years of his life."
"What?? Harry is in.. jail?"

This gives me a major heartbreak. I know it is wrong, but I love Harry. And I need Harry. They can't lock him up! I partly stayed because I wanted to! I will do something about this. As soon as I'm strong enough I'll get him out of there!

~ Beeeeeeeep beeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep ~
"What's happening??!?!" Beau shouts. "Doctor!!! Help!! Someone please help!! Something's wrong!!"
Then everything went white in front of my eyes.

I see myself laying on the operation table. Doctors are all over me, trying to safe my life. No sign of Beau. Where did he go?? The woman on the table doesn't look like me. Her face is bruised, there's blood everywhere. Her leg is half open and I can even see the bone. That isn't me. It can't be me!

I don't want it to be, but I know it is. That is me laying there. Those doctors are operating me. And no one else. Me. This happened to me. And my baby.

The only thing I'm wondering is why they are operating me. When Beau was here there was nothing wrong with my leg. I was partly paralyzed, but I didn't see any blood. How comes there's suddenly blood everywhere? It can't be all from the operation, because there's even blood coming from my face and my arms.

They are cleaning me up with water and stuff, while some doctors are operating my leg. It doesn't look good.

- 2 hours later -

"Jen!!" Someone walks up to me and places his big, gentle hand on my forehead. Then I feel the touch of soft, warm lips kissing my cheek.
I open my eyes.

"Harry!" I smile. Then I look around me concerned. "Where's Beau?"
Harry's facial expression becomes cold. "Beau? He was never here, what are you talking about?"

"He was here! I saw him! He told me I was partly paralyzed and that the baby was fine!"
"Jen.... You are not paralyzed and we don't know yet wether the baby is fine or not."
"What...?" My world stops for a moment. It's like time is frozen. I hear every single sound. Harry scratching his chin. His breathing, his swallow. The beeps of the machine beside me. The ticking of the clock. The wind softly touching the window of my room and then Harry's lips being opened.

"Jen.. I'm so sorry. We don't know what happened to the baby. The doctors are now looking at the scans of your belly."

"You! You did this on purpose!! You never wanted me to have a baby with Beau!" I cry. Like a baby.
"Jennifer. You are drugged, you're full of painkillers you're not thinking clearly. You know I would never do that and I would never even think like that! Your baby is more than welcome and if it has to I will raise it as my own! I... I love you, Jen.

Then I blacked out. Again.