What More Could I Want (Book #1) AOT Fanfiction *COMPLETED*

Sleep Deprived Levi

'Why, out of all things, would you get that on your back.'

Furlan had me by my wrists, holding me to a table. Levi had my shirt up, exposing my back so he could fully examine the tattoo I received. On my back, a pair of black angel wings. They started at the back of my shoulders and went all the way past my lower back. They were wide enough to almost cover either side of my spine with still some room to spare. I was not intending to symbolize a rebellion. It was because I really did wish I had actual wings so I could fly away from the hell I lived in every day.

"You know, he's taken a great liking to you."

I throw one leg over the other, setting down my empty cup that once held tea. "He's an interesting kid," I reply. "He's very hardheaded and a bit dumb but his determination and ambition exceed anything. I've never met a child like him, Hange."

Hange Zoë is thirty-six and the fourth squad leader as well as a rare Titan researcher. He conducts research to the point of obsession. He is very passionate and driven in the pursuit of new knowledge. He can be seen as hyperactive, often diving into projects without thought for personal safety and frightening many of his subordinates in the process while being preoccupied with observing and documenting his subjects.

Some misinterpret these acts of his as eccentric and view him as having more than a few screws loose in his head. I, out of all people, can agree that most of that can be true. However, I also know that it goes beyond that. He enjoys discussing his research, but as the lectures can be very long and detail-oriented, not many of his fellow soldiers find them interesting. I'm able to sit through them because I can tune him out and let my mind wander. 

He is excited by Titans and is always eager to experiment with them, coming off as extremely emotional regarding them. Despite this attitude, Hange cares deeply for humanity and takes threats to his comrades very seriously. I know this from personal experiences. I'm twenty-five now but, ever since I joined the military a handful of years ago, Hange has been one of the few people I'm able to truly trust. 

I was born into a very poor family in the outer wall. When I was only one, my father used me to repay a heavy debt. From there, I was put in the Undergrounds where I was used for testing different medicines. At the end of every night, there were needle marks all over my arms, neck, and back. This 'career path' didn't last long. After about five years, they saw me as useless and left me alone to die. 

As I got older, I did my best to convince the Military Police down there that I was actually a born citizen. Of course, I was only kicked to the side and laughed at. I could understand. I'm sure the story they heard from me was the same as the others trying to leave. The Underground is poorer and more prone to criminal activity.

One night, I was suddenly snatched up and taken to some dark cell. For the first year, I kept locked and rarely fed. When I reached the age of eleven, I became the plaything for older, perverted men. I reached a point of feeling worse than when I was constantly injected with drugs. I would be bound by my wrists and one ankle would be chained to an old bed. I sat in the room all day, having client after client. At the end of the night, I was put back in my cell. My screams of pain and my pleas to stop were nothing but fuel for their disgusting flames of desire.

At first, I was scared that the life I had been brought into would never end but fear was no longer my worst enemy. It became the bruised and used girl I saw in the mirror. I went from scared to rebellious to depressed. I could no longer put up a fight and I could no longer find a will to. It was heavy. I had to carry it around even though I never wanted to. It was always over me, casting its shadow on my life.