What More Could I Want (Book #1) AOT Fanfiction *COMPLETED*

Emotional Confrontation

I lean back in the chair and blow my cigarette smoke up as I stare down the creature I feared for so many years. Age has really hit him but I know he remembers me just from my eyes. Why else would he not be able to look up at me for this entire hour I've been sitting here? The old man has a fringe of grey-white hair around his balding, mottled scalp. He has a wizened face and a back slightly hunched. He has the resigning look of one who knows that at his age, life has stopped giving and only takes away. 

The Military Police have him chained by both hands and ankles without any comfort. Just four dirty walls and a disgusting floor. "I'm sure you have something to say to me," I whisper. 

"Do you... Do you hate me for what I put you through?"

Why, out of all things does he ask that? He could just apologize to get this over with so I can finally leave. I guess he does deserve an answer to that before he dies. "No, I don't. Hating someone requires energy and effort I don't want to put forth. I'm actually proud, in a very...disgusting way. You took what was once innocent in me and made it into what it is today. I hope you're proud because it's all your handiwork."

He grins showing yellowed teeth amongst the stubble, his eyes wider than any sane person should be. He runs a hand through his thinning hair and chuckles. "I didn't think I would see you again after those kids threatened to cut my throat if I came anywhere near you." His grin fades and he sighs. "I will say I didn't know I would have such an influence on your life. Usually, I receive girls who don't mind doing the things I made them do. They accepted it."

"Everyone in the Undergrounds accepted anything they could get, including death. You gave your victims somewhere to sleep and something that looked like food every day. What else could someone from that disgusting place ask for? The sexual abuse was just a bonus."

"I thought you were the same way..."

"I just want to know what part of 'no' or 'stop' you didn't understand. From the times I begged to be released to the moments I practically asked for death to take me away from that life. I guess you can't be blamed for that part. You weren't the one that ignored my words. You were the big man on top that just collected the money. Whatever happened behind a closed door, it was none of your concern as long as you got the wealth you lusted for."

"I..." he stutters.

I drop my cigarette, putting it out under my boot. "You don't have the slightest idea as to what you've done to me. I feel so filthy and disgusting almost every day of my life now. Nothing about me is my own. It belongs to you because of the purity you took. I fight for humanity because I didn't know how to fight for myself. I have a man that loves me but I can't accept him because of what you did to me. Why can't you just admit your wrongdoing and set me free? Why must you hold on to me and drag me right down to hell with you?"

He finally looks up and has his own tears in his eyes. "I... I worship you. I did the worst possible things to you as a child yet you became a strong soldier all on your own. You became acquainted with that kid, Levi Ackerman because you trusted him. I knew you would never stop following him and he wouldn't leave your side. I knew you would become better than what was ahead of you if you stayed with me."

"How did you know about Levi and me?"

He chuckles and throws back his head to rest it against the wall. "That bastard Kenny Ackerman told me all about the two of you. You are humanity's strongest soldiers and are beyond separable. But, Saichi, I'm sorry if I've held you back all these years. Now, go, love, that kid before it's too late. I will pay for what I have done to all those people but you don't have to go down with me."

Love him... I drop to my knees. "Thank you...for finally taking responsibility."

I rise to my feet and give him one last nod before leaving the cell. I gesture to a guard and walk up to the main level of the Military Police HQ. There are soldiers lining the wall and right at the door. Damn, they keep this place on lockdown. I throw on my cloak hood and I'm too busy looking down when I run into someone. I'm about to reach for a knife when I realize it's...Levi.