What More Could I Want (Book #1) AOT Fanfiction *COMPLETED*

Drunk Levi

"Darius approved the mission and has given you a week for final preparations. Rico also stopped by and agreed to assist your Elite Squad with hers. Noble Yamazaki sent his approval for our supplies. Everything you wanted is falling into place."

I rotate my shoulder and crack my neck. Good. I'm surprised but satisfied. I slip off my glasses and rub my eyes. I'm so tired. "Where is everyone?"

"They should be on their way to bed," Erwin replies. "Are you sure you don't want to rest?"

You've been asking me that since my father left, Erwin. I know things were revealed about me that you didn't know. That doesn't mean you need to father me in ways unnecessary at this point. I've come to accept who I am. I do have a bloodlust but it's what helps me kill titans. I know I have killed so many humans in my life but also countless titans. I can overcome this bloodlust if I put my mind to it. I refuse to allow my own daughter to see how cruel this world can really be.

The door slams open and in comes Jean. I slowly stand up and he salutes to me at the first glance. "What's wrong, Jean?" Erwin asks him. 

"Captain Levi is on the roof and we're all worried. He's drinking while walking along the edge without wearing his gear."

I run up the stairs to the roof with Hange and Erwin behind me. Pushing through other members, I see Levi standing on one of the castle's turrets with an almost empty bottle of wine in one hand. His shirt is sloppy and his pants are dirty. This man isn't Levi. Something is going on. "Captain!" Eren exclaims to me.

"We found him like this about ten minutes ago," Armin explains.

Levi looks down to see me and sighs. "Look who it is."

"Levi!" I scream. "Get down from there, you idiot!"

"Bite me."

"Don't fuck with me! You'll fall so get down!"

He takes another huge swing of the bottle. "As if. Who do you think I am?"

"Right now, I think you're stupid. You're not wearing the maneuvering gear and you're blackout drunk." He glares at me before jumping over to another turret. A scream escapes all of our mouths, scared for his life. "Levi, stop!"

He seems to have settled down as he turns to look down at us all, specifically at me. "Answer me this: Why am I apart of the Survey Corps?"

"Because you're the leader of the Elite Squad."

"Exactly. Due to Erwin's orders, I am the captain of the Elite Squad. And I have the position to assist the commander directly, as in you, as a captain. Is that right?"

"Correct."

"Then tell me why, Saichi!? Why didn't you tell me how much pain you were in?!"

So that's what this is about? Guilt. "Levi..."

"Do you not trust me anymore, after all these years? Am I of no use to you? Why didn't you just tell me?! Am I not reliable to you?!"

"Levi, that was never the case... Please, just listen to me." He slams the bottle down and sits on the turret with his left side facing me. "Levi, I only just became commander after giving birth to a baby girl. Of course, I've been busy and things have been extremely hard. I'm still getting used to it. Before I was carrying your workload and mine but being commander is completely different."

"I thought you were handling it well."

"Don't lie to me. You know things have been a bit more difficult recently. We have a child in our care, for Pete's sake."

"You knew it would be like this yet you still took on the responsibility! Look, my position doesn't mean a damn thing to me, you know that! It's a pain in the ass and it doesn't serve any purpose! I knew you were suffering. I knew about your pain. That's why I-"

I step up onto the space between the turrets and grab him by the face. "I know, Levi. I know. I'm so sorry."

"You said this was dangerous..."

"So we die together. I didn't agree to be your lover because I didn't love you. I don't trust anyone more in the world than I trust you. I need you in my life, Levi. I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to you."

"I love you, Saichi."

"I love you, too, Levi. Please come down."

He steps down and Hange hauls him away since he is still intoxicated. I step down and face the gathered Survey Corps members. They all look scared but also relieved. They've never seen Levi in such a vulnerable state. "All of you, to bed," I command. "Sleep in tomorrow if you would like. I won't begin training until I have a formation ready. It will take no longer than a day."

They nod slowly and file out. I let out an exhausted sigh and look to Erwin. "I think the two of you have a lot to talk about."

I rub the back of my neck. "Yeah, we do but not now. I know I can get Eren to plug the wall. I need to have that be my top priority right now. I love Levi so much but...my feelings for him will have to wait."