I'm Just A Freak- Hybrid ImmortalFox

You're right, I do Hate You

Aleks paced back and forth in his room, biting his lip so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if it bled.

The stress was killing him, eating away at him slowly from the inside. He had never been on a date before, nor had he kissed anyone. Heck, Eddie was his very first crush, for crying out loud! He had no idea what to do, should he, or at least attempt to, kiss him tonight or should he keep his distance and act as ordinarily as possible? Should he be all flirty and put some kind of ‘amazing and though guy’ façade or be his normal, everyday self?

The questions each demanded a thought through and logical answer, something he seemingly couldn’t give with the panic taking over all his thought, making him ask questions he couldn’t even think of a reply to.

It helped knowing his feelings were returned, though. It helped immensely, took a huge worry off of his shoulder and kept him from completely freaking out over this.

He was a mess though, a complete and utter mess. He couldn’t get his thinking straight; he repeated the same questions over and over and kept replaying the same bad outcomes that could possibly end their date, their friendship, even.

Did this sort of thing happen to everyone on their first date or just him? Was Eddie doing the same, just across the hall or was he patiently waiting, completely assured of what to do and when to do it?

He took a deep breath and stopped his pacing. Instead of starting the cycle again like he had for the past fifteen minutes, he reminded himself that he should just simply calm down and wait for eight to strike, which was in ten or so minutes.

He laid on his bed, running a hand through the locks of brown hair that weren’t covered by his light blue beanie, taking in another deep breath and exhaling slowly, trying to steady his slightly faster paced breathing.

The wait was endless, excruciating even as he waited for the last five minutes to pass. He did his best to convince himself that everything would be alright, that the date would be great and it would be the first of many.

He really wanted that, having the assured fact that he could go to Eddie to vent, rant, hang out, cuddle, laugh and so much more. Knowing without a doubt that Sly would support him through whatever he needed to be reinforced in, that’s what he wanted. He suddenly realized his longing for the fact of knowing that someone, at least one person in his life, loved him. He longed to be said those three special words, always with nothing but pure love and care in Eddie’s voice. To gain all of that, all he needed was to do something easy, simple; ask Eddie if he wanted to his official, first boyfriend.

He yearned for the courage to do so, if he could somehow channel it and ask, maybe, just maybe, all his wishes would become reality.

But, what happened if he did gain the courage, but was rejected? There were so many reasons why he could be denied and deprived from Eddie’s love, much more than there were reasons for Sly to completely accept and return his.

He was a freak. It was simple, really. That one, tiny statement no one could convince him otherwise was one of the many reasons he didn’t deserve Eddie’s love and affection, or anyone’s for that matter. He had been beaten and insulted by his very last ‘family member’ he knew of because of that. His abnormal animalistic traits were the reason for his beatings, his unhappiness, his hatred for the cruelty in the world.

There were many more reasons, that he was sure of. His pathetic, constant need for someone’s comfort, the guilt he felt when someone actually cared for him, the one of being pitied. He didn’t want it, he didn’t deserve it. Many more could be added to the long list, but thinking of them just made him cringe, cringe out of pure hatred for nobody but himself.

Eddie changed that, however, Eddie changed everything. Even when he was a sulking mess, Eddie could somehow make him believe he was the most special person in the world, just by being him. He didn’t know what it was about him, he was pretty sure he would never know, either, but it made him happy. Undeniably, outright happy.

His thoughts were interrupted by a rushed knock at the door. He turned to his side in order to face his bedside table, the one that his alarm clock was placed on, and saw that Eddie was right on time.

He rushed to the door, the anxiety of the evening’s happenings making his heart thump against his cheat painfully as he bit the inside of his cheek harshly.

He opened it, revealing the face of the teenager who made his heart flutter. All it took was Sly’s nervous but cute smile to make all his worries fade away into oblivion.

“Hey Aleks, you look really good,” the Latino complimented, biting his lip endearingly as a light shade of red tinting his tanned cheeks.

The comment itself made a blush make its way to his own face, not so subtly. He had no idea what to wear, so he had just thrown on something he would usually put on, a simple shirt covered by a black hoodie, his skinny jeans and beanie, nothing more extravagant than his casual wear. Because of that, Aleks raised an eyebrow in confusion, not fully understanding the difference between his usual look and the one he had this evening.

“What do you mean, ‘I look very good’? I look like this every day.”

“Exactly.”

And there he was again, feeling like the most amazing person in the universe as butterflies flew wildly in his stomach and his blush increased. “Thank you, you look… really good too, just like you do all the time.”

He wasn’t lying in the least, Sly had presented himself fairly casually. He wore black jeans, a purple t-shirt with what looked like a Minecraft slime that Eddie had shown him while recording daily and a green beanie. Overall, even though he wasn’t dressed in anything out of the ordinary, he looked absolutely amazing in his eyes.

They walked to Eddie’s car in silence, not that he minded. Having peace and quiet while his head wasn’t filled with bad thoughts actually made him feel fairly nice, having Eddie there made the situation even better.

Once he had finally entered the passenger’s seat and Eddie the driver’s, Sly backed up into the road and drove off. Since he was still pretty new to this town, he still couldn’t recognize the place Eddie was driving them to.

“Where the fuck are you driving us to, exactly?”

Eddie giggled, eyes glued to the road. “Well,” he started, straining the ‘e’ with a sheepish grin. “I know you’re going to hate me for this, but it’s a surprise.”

Aleks stayed silent before narrowing his eyes at his date. He didn’t like surprises that much, that was probably why he tried visualising every outcome of a situation, to avoid it taking him by surprise.

“You’re right, I do hate you for this,” he confirmed, purposely adding a grumpy tone to his voice.

Eddie only giggled again, parking his car in some place he still couldn’t identify.

'Ello, friends! How you guys been doing? Sorry for the late (filler) chapter, I recently discovered a place you can see Attack on Titan and I've been watching it non-stop. (#SorryNotSorry) (#ActuallyReallySorryPleaseDon'tKillMe)

Anyway, special thanks to FanFictionByWhitney for the follow! <3