Death Wish

Chapter 36: Face It. I'm a Murderer.

I fall against the cabinets and let out a gasp as the pain of the sharp blade piercing my flesh registers. The slick knife has punctured my heart and the pain is unbearable. I take in a deep breath as I try to lessen the pain and circulate blood through my body again as my heart is giving out. When I start to give into the pain, I hear a pounding, but that could be my throbbing head as I start to pass out.

...

Lorenzo's POV

As I'm walking down the path to my car, I register what I just said to Linnea. Her hurt face as I utter the words resonates through my head, on a constant loop. I turn around and sprint back to the door and start pounding on the door. I need to apologize.

When she doesn't answer, I get a bad feeling. She would've already opened the door to tell me to get lost or something. I push in the brick revealing the hidden key but it's not there. She gave it to me and I left it at my house. I hear a crash and I kick down the door. Looking around the living room, I can't find her. I start to panic and look in the kitchen when I see an unconscious Linnea with a knife in her chest.

Picking her up, I dial 911 and tell them what happened. A couple minutes later, they come with an ambulance. I ride with the paramedics as they try to do CPR to revive her. We ride to an open field where a helicopter is waiting and I feel completely helpless as we ride the chopper to the hospital in Ilopie.

...

I'm sitting in Linnea's hospital room waiting for her to wake up when the door bursts open.

"What happened?" Zaquen demands with Quinden on his heels.

"She tried to freaking kill herself. She stuck a knife into her chest and it went into the left ventricle so she went into surgery. She been in a coma ever since they finished. They said its normal, that she is resting and her body's trying to recover. This is my fault. I said some things I didn't mean and she drove that knife through her heart. I shouldn't have said that. She almost freaking died because of me!" I cry, putting my head back in my hands.

"Hey, I know that you love her and anything that you said was because you weren't thinking. I think she knows you didn't mean it, that you were reacting. When she did what she did, she was also reacting. You two didn't know what else to do. You acted on impulse but both of you didn't mean it," Quinden says.

Zaquen is quietly whispering to Linnea, begging her to wake up when I lay down on a couch in her sitting room. This is the same layout as mom's room, but I wouldn't put Linnea here. There are too many memories and I don't want Linnea to get overwhelmed when she wakes up. 

If she wakes up, a bitter voice taunts.

I grab my hair in my hands and pull. I need her to wake up. I don't know what to do without her.

...

It's been a month. Four weeks and a couple days. One month. One month she's been sleeping and recovering. Every day is monotone. I go home, sleep, go to school, do homework in Linnea's room while I wait for her to wake up, get disappointed when she doesn't, go back him, and repeat. I avoid my father and I'm just a shell of who I used to be. I can't stand it. I need her to freaking wake up. If she doesn't I'm gong to freaking murder someone.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when a knock on the door sounds. Linnea's doctor walks in with a forlorn face.

"Yes, doctor?" I ask, trying to keep my tone even.

"Well, as you know it's been a month since the surgery and she hasn't shown any signs of improvement. The surgery, although successful, didn't do much for Linnea. Whether or not she wakes up from her coma is entirely up to her. And given the circumstances with which she arrived, well, all I'm saying is that maybe you should consider other options," he says, clearing his throat.