Wasn't expecting that

Love means loss

Cara lies curled up still crying to herself. "Cara are you sore?" Raf asks.

She doesn't reply to him but just stares into space. "Just trying to help" he smiles as he strokes her hand.
"Are you thirsty?" he asks.
Once again she says nothing to Raf. "Alright I'll leave you be petal" he says as he takes his hand away.

"Please don't go" she pleads as she grabs his hand again.

"I won't, I know it's hard but can you answer me?" he says as he strokes her hand.

"Just sit there and be quiet please" Cara mutters.

Raf nods and does so, Cara just lies there for a while doing nothing but starring at the bar on the bed.

"Would you like a cuddle?" he asks after a while.

She nods and just lies there so Raf sits on the bed and hugs her that way. "I can't Raf" she says as she starts to cry again.

"Can't what?" Raf asks a little confused.

"Can't cope that he's dead Raf" she cries hysterically, Raf rubs her arm and just comforts her.

"Let me up your pain relief babe" he says as he gets up.

"What so my pain goes away raf? I don't want it" she says.

Raf ignores her and gives her more pain relief. She tries to pull her hand away "stop it I don't want it" she says kicking up a fuss.

"Fine!" Raf says.

"But you've already give it me now, you stupid man" Cara says.

"Shall I go?" Raf asks.

"Yes and don't come back!" She says as she rolls over.

"Well I'm afraid I'm not doing that! I love you very much and I'm not leaving you on you're own!" Raf snaps.

"Well stop asking if you should leave, I wish you'd just go away" she mutters.

"Just shush and I'll give you a cuddle, you're not thinking straight" he says.

"Of course I am" Cara says.

"I'll come back later when you've calmed down a little" he says.

Cara says not more and just lies there messing with her cannula. "Don't mess with that" he says as he leaves.

"I'll do what I like" Cara says.

Raf says nothing and leaves her be. "How's she doing?" Essie asks Raf as he comes over.

"Not good at all, she's still rather agitated" he says.

"She will be for a while, did she have the pain relief?" Sacha asks.

"Yeah I gave her it with a fight but she's got it" Raf says.

"It should make her sleepy too, so she should go to sleep for a bit" Sacha says.

"Poor thing I can't even guess what she's going through right now" Essie says.

"I'm really sorry to hear about the baby" Sacha says.

"Thanks" Raf smiles a little unsure.

"She doesn't want me there so I'm off" he says.

"Stay for her, she needs someone" Essie says.

"She needs a bit of space for a bit" Raf says.

Raf heads downstairs and goes and sits in the peace garden to be alone for a while. He starts to cry to himself as the past few hours have all been a blurr.

"Oh dear Di Lucca... Trouble in paradise? Did Cara leave you?" Fletch says as he comes and sits next to him on the bench.

Raf stands up, "you don't fucking know what's happened to me the past 5 hours!" Raf shouts.

"Wow wow, sit down and explain to me, what's happened? Jack kept you up all night? Cara kicked you out?" he asks. "Hang on aren't you meant to be off this week? Why are you here?" Fletch adds.

"Jack was born yesterday; he died this morning!" Raf shouts as he just breaks down.

"Oh my god, I didn't realise" fletch says.

"Well now you know!" Raf shouts as he lashes out and hits the bench hard with his fist, "this is all my fucking fault! Nothing ever goes right for me!" he says.

"Calm down!" Fletch says as he grabs him and stops him.

"Why? You tell me why?" Raf says as the tears stream down his face.

"You did your best, Raf don't beat yourself up over it" Fletch says.

"Cara's a state in there!" he cries as Fletch hugs him.

"Well why aren't you in there with her?" Fletch asks.

"She wanted to be left alone for a bit" he says.

Fletch sits there quietly and let's Raf talk is he wants too. "What the hell am I meant to say or do with Cara? She's broken and so am I!" Raf cries.

"Just go comfort her" fletch says.

"And say what?" Raf says.

"Have you seen Jack? Have they given you back his blanket and things?" Fletch asks as he knows from experience.

"Not yet" Raf says.

"Go get them and see Jack" Fletch says.

"Cara wants to see him" Raf says.

"Well take her to see him too" Fletch says.

"I don't know" Raf sighs.

"Why?" Fletch asks.

"She's so broken... I don't know what to do" Raf says.

"Take her to see Jack one last time and then just sit and comfort her, call her mum to come down aswell" Fletch says. Raf nods and smiles a little. "Go on, it'll work out okay in the end and I'm so sorry to hear about Jack; I'm only a text away if you need me" Fletch smiles.

Raf gets up and walks back into the hospital. He heads back up to Keller to see Cara asleep.

"How's she been?" Raf asks Essie who's at the nursing station.

"She's been asleep, she also got out for the toilet" Essie says.

"She's very sore though, she's complaining about the stitches aching" Essie adds.

Raf nods and heads over to her. He sits down next to her and takes her hand and strokes it lightly.

"It'll all be fine" raf smiles.