Violet (The Never Series) *EDITING*

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Violet

I refused to admit to myself that I missed him. I know that it makes me stubborn and downright ignorant, but I just couldn't.  As soon as I admit it to myself, I won't be able to take it back, it will be like killing in some ways: once it's done it cannot be undone.

But I was familiar with killing.

I was not familiar with caring.

If I admitted that I missed Peter Pan, I wouldn't just be betraying my father, bastard though he is, I would be betraying myself.

My life on Neverland has never been a joyful and carefree one. It's been both nightmarish and filled with reluctant excitement.

I'm not a good person, I never have been. No-one could ever fault me for being honest though.

It all began with swordfighting, I was still very young and couldn't wait to pick up my first blade. I went through rigorous training procedures to become the best, Hook had been unbelievably proud when I had made my first kill. I had been about six and it had been one of Hook's men, he had betrayed him and Hook proposed a deal: defeat - not kill - his daughter and he would live, but if I defeated him, I got to kill him.

I had won.

I felt my lips turn upwards in wry amusement at the  memory. One of the few blissful moments of my childhood was about holding a sword and killing a fully grown man. I had enjoyed it back then, I didn't understand.

I do now...

I sighed and shifted uncomfortably on the branch that I was perched upon, my thoughts leading me down a path that I did not wish to revisit.

I jumped off my seat on the tree and landed with a soft and muted thud on the damp earth, I felt disgusting. How long had it been since I had last bathed?

Far, far too long.

I ran a hand through my hair, it was oily and slick. And if the state of my hair was anything to go by, the rest of me must be absolutely filthy.

I let out a small disgusted sound and began to make my way over to a fresh water lake that I knew was on this side of Neverland. I felt the spring in my step as I became increasingly eager to feel clean again.

I also loved the water, it was quite honestly, the only place that I ever felt truly safe.

Pushing my wandering thoughts aside, I quickened my pace and was soon at the lake.

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Now clean and refreshed, it was almost as though my mind was clearer as well and sight sharper.

I knew that I couldn't keep avoiding Pan, I couldn't keep waiting for my mind to sort itself out, I had to go back.

And I would, tonight.

I was reluctantly looking forward to it.

Looking forward to seeing Peter.

No!

Yes.

It irritated me that this might be true, I had come to enjoy our little banters and fights. Despite my intense dislike of him, he seems to understand me, like he looked right through me and saw something redeemable about me.

Ha!

He would soon learn that I was nothing but trouble, not worth a minute of his time. In fact I was only here to cut his time short.

But I don't want to...

But I'm supposed to.

Confusion.

I've never felt the emotion before, not really and never in such force.

It was crippling, I clasped my head in my hands and fell to the floor.

I COULDN'T THINK!

The confusion was so strong it actually caused me pain.

So for the first and hopefully last time in my life.

I screamed.

And finally gave into hope, hope that maybe, just maybe, Peter Pan could save me. I hoped that in the end, I would win in at least one way.

As my vision began to cloud with black dots, one word reverberated through my skull.

Heart.

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A/N:
Hello! Soooooooooooo, New chapter! :) hope you guys liked it, if not then please leave me ANY suggestions in the comments and I'll be sure to take them into account.

LOVE YOU AWESOME PIGEONS!!!!! Xxxxxxxx