Poster Girl ✔

28) HOPE

OMG Logan looks so darn hot.

Dedicated to hecayte. I am hooked to her story The Bloodbag. Please check it out. It's a hot vampire romance and it's frigging life.

There is an awkward silence and I can literally hear my heart fluttering to an unusual beat. "Heidi I.... " he stops. He's hesitating but I don't help him. My mouth is clamped shut and I feel a numbing sensation over my body.

"Oh boys and girls you need to see these paintings about the Beat Generation by this new artist. I'm sure you'd love them. Come-on now" Marcella usheres them away from us. All of them give me worried looks. Their expressions are so identical that it makes me want to laugh. My father stares after them awkwardly before he's facing me again. His eyes are pleading but I refuse to give in.

"How is your mother?" he asks softly.

"You should find out for yourself. I don't know maybe call her sometimes?" my voice is bitter. It's not anger rather it's sadness that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Why hadn't he called if he was so fit and fine and wealthy too? Just one call to let us know of his existence would have saved me from hundreds of sleepless nights. I just don't think he can fathom how much he hurt us by abandoning us.

"Heidi I'm so sorry. I really am."

"I wish sorry would give you the privilege of the title of a father that you threw away so easily."

"Heidi you must understand that... "

"I don't want to understand Hendrik" he winces when I call him by his name.

"I did call Marylynne once but she refused to let me talk to you. You see she was still angry and told me never to call again" I look at him in shock. Why would my mother do that?

"I dared not call again because I hurt you so much and I was afraid it would make it worse if I kept calling so I kept my distance. It kills me Heidi. It kills me that I couldn't look after my own kid and watch her grow. I hate myself for leaving. I was just a stupid, selfish twenty one year old. I was depressed for months after leaving. I was literally living out on the streets but that's when Marcy found me and helped me." I listen to him quietly. He's running his hands through the mass of curls atop his head just like he used to a long time ago. It's the same curls I have inherited. A painful reminder.

"Heidi please give me a chance. I know I can't change the past but please let me into your future. Please" his voice is hoarse and I can see his warm eyes glimmering with unshed tears. My heart hammers in my chest. Does he deserve a second chance? Doesn't everybody deserve a second chance?

"Okay" I whisper defeated.

"Thank you" he says. He hesitates again for a second but he soon has his arms around me rather tightly. I don't know if I am too quick to forgive but I can't help it. I love him. Although he might have lost the loving title of a 'dad',  I can't change the fact that he's my father. He is my flesh and blood and nothing in the entire universe can change that.

I finally let myself cry in his arms after thirteen years. He still smells of warm chocolate and nicotine.

-------------------

I'm exhausted and I don't even remove my shoes before I plop on Nico's bed. I was too tired to even take another step so I promptly entered his room when I saw him open his door like a pro.

I push him away when he lands a little to close to me. He pouts attractively and rolls over to lie on his back.

"Today was quite the day huh?"

"Yeah."

"I can't believe you're Hendrik's mysterious daughter. I think
he talked about you only twice, both times when he was drunk though. I thought you were a sweet little girl but turns out its only you."

"What's that supposed to mean 'only you'?"

"FYI your dad loves me and I him. He's my favorite adult. I'm pretty sure I would get his prompt approval if I were to date you" he completely flips me off and starts teasing me instead.

"I wonder what he feels now about those late night talks you guys had about me." I hide my smile when I see his flushed cheeks from the corner of my eye. "Hey how come he never found out though. Didn't you tell him my name?" he flushes even more as he groans and covers his eyes with his arm.

"I might have used the help-my-friend- likes-someone ploy." I start laughing and he groans some more squirming like a little boy.

"What are you twelve?" I say in between laughs.

"Stop laughing" he says and before I can catch my breath he's pinned me to my bed. His hands on top of my wrists. I'm panting lightly while he just stares at me. Even his neck looks flushed. I smile playfully.

"Just how much do you like me?" I find myself asking. I want to choke myself but seems like the hidden minx within me is playing up. I am sure this is going to end up badly.

He lowers his head till I can focus only on his deep green eyes. The emerald vortexes pulling me in. "Don't test me kitten" his voice is so low that it has my stomach somersault in weird successions. He's never called me kitten before but there's something so sensual about it that it has my body hot and quivering. He suddenly lets me go but I remain frozen to the spot. I'm so embarrassed right now that I can't even formulate a sentence. He probably saw the lust swimming in my eyes. I just want the fluffy white bed to swallow me whole. I wanted him to kiss me, to touch me and my entire body cringes at my uncharted thoughts.

"Is there any hope for me Heidi?" his question startles me and I get up and rest myself on my elbows. "What?"

"That someday you'll want me more than a friend" his eyes look at me and it's like he's staring into my soul. I feel exposed under his gaze. I feel weak.

"Maybe. I don't know Nico. I really don't, but this much I'm sure that I'm not letting you go without a fight. You're the one who was there to pick me up and I'll always be grateful for that."

"But don't you know that being close to you hurts? It hurts that I can't hold and touch you when you're here so close to me" there's a lump stuck in my throat and I don't know why I'm feeling so much sorrow.

"Sorry" I say and get up quietly. "I'll just let myself out okay?" I might have seen him nod. I don't really know. I wish I was in love with Nico instead of Marc. I really do.

*

I'm so sad :'(  I want to hit Heidi on the head but don't worry realization will dawn on her in the near future. Until then hold on.

*Hugs Nico's head*

Nico : Hey! What the...

Me : Shhhh. It's okay. I'll be your shoulder to cry on.

Nico : No! Get off me!

End.

Nico : Guys please vote if you want to hug me.

[Nico : Ughhhhh]