THE PASSIONATE PASSION OF PASSIONATE FRIENDSHIP

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The kidnapped members of Organization XIII sat around cramped and uncomfortable in that tiny, poorly lit closet within that tiny, poorly lit room. Each Nobody stared off into space, unsure of what to say. Finally, Axel spoke up.

"Damn, we've been gone for a long time, huh?" he said, scratching his spiky, red hair.

Larxene sighed and propped her head up in her hand, her elbow resting on her lap. "Yeah, we know. Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"I-I just wanna get out of here..." Roxas mumbled, drawing his knees closer to his chest. "I think I'm g-gonna l-lose it, g-guys. I CAN'T STAND TIGHT SPACES!"

Xigbar snickered and muttered, "That's what she said." Saïx thumped him on the back of his head and glared when Xigbar turned to face him. "Ugh, P.U., man! Don't touch me when you still smell like ass!"

"IT WAS A SKUNK AND A GIANT STINKBUG!" Saïx yelled, punching Xigbar in the arm.

"And I bet we all smell like it now," Marluxia said, pinching the black fabric of his coat with a frown.

Roxas began hyperventilating and Xion widened her eyes, leaning away from the short-circuiting boy. "Uh, guys?" she said nervously, glancing away from Roxas to look at her comrades. Luxord was rubbing his bare feet, Xigbar was laughing at Saïx for smelling like trash, Marluxia was sniffing his coat, Larxene was clamping her hands over her ears to block out Xigbar's laughter, and Axel was complaining to Xaldin about how long it took for this story to update. Xion sighed and simply began scooting away from Roxas, knowing that he was very well about to explode.

3... 2... 1... Show time... she thought, covering her head.

Sure enough, Roxas unleashed a scream so shrill and loud, Axel started screaming with him in terror for the sudden disturbance. Once Roxas stopped screaming like a banshee, he jumped to his feet, stepping on Luxord's bare foot, causing him to curse in pain. He summoned his Keyblade and began hacking through the door that had kept the Organization members trapped for ages until it was just a pile of splinter on the floor. The captive members' heads snapped up to see a poorly lit room filled with computer monitors and... familiar figures.

Xigbar hopped to his feet and pointed an angry finger at a familiar, vicious garden gnome. "IT'S YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Mr. Garden Gnome, whose mouth was wide open with a sandwich frozen right in front of it, widened his glassy eyes and let the tuna sandwich slip through his fingers. It landed onto the floor with a plop. Xigbar began to chuckle... evilly... and summoned his Arrowguns. Saïx spotted the skunk and the giant stink bug and grinned... evilly... before summoning his Claymore. Axel gave an... evil... chuckle when he saw Experiment #56, the giant spider, and summoned his Chakrams.

"OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!" Larxene said... evilly... cracking her knuckles.

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Tansy hummed a tune as she skipped down the hallway, her smaller, brown hand enveloped in Demyx's bigger one. "We're going on a treasure hunt, we're on a treasure hunt, we're going on a treasure huuuunt!" she sang, dragging a depressed Demyx along.

"I-I just can't believe Experiment #56 would betray me like this..." he muttered, tears gathering in his eyes. "I thought we were best friends!"

Tansy began swinging her tiny arm as she skipped, swinging Demyx's along with hers and humming in thought. "Maybe the bad guys gave him chocolate and phone operators!" she chirped, giggling. "I'd be a bad guy for chocolate and phone operators!"

Demyx squeezed her hand and sniffled. "Y-Yeah... yeah! Tansy, you have to be right!" He suddenly stopped walking and hoisted Tansy onto his back, making her squeal in delight. "We have to find him quickly!" he said passionately, passionate tears escaping his passionate eyes. And the passion of his passionate friendship passionately hurried Demyx down passionate hall after passionate hall until finally, he heard the passionate, bloodthirsty battle cries of his passionate comrades passionately extracting their passionate revenge through a passionate wall. "FOR THE PASSION OF FRIENDSHIIIIIP!" Demyx yelled and charged right for the wall, plunging through it and into the poorly lit room of the castle. What Demyx saw sucked the passion right out of his not-so-passionate-now body. "NOOOO!" he cried, falling to his knees.

Tansy hopped off, giggling so hard, she almost peed on herself. "Again, again!" she said, holding her stomach.

Experiment #56, lying on the floor, turned his giant, hairy head in the direction of the familiar cries. "Dem...yx?" he managed to whisper, the light slowly leaving his eight, red eyes. "Demyx... come closer... duuude..."

Demyx dragged his heavy limbs over to Experiment #56 and held one of his hairy, legs. "Speak to me, man..." Demyx said.

The freed Organization members exchanged bewildered looks with each other before returning their eyes to the disturbing scene in front of them. Tansy, suddenly sensing the heaviness in the room, inched her way over to the nearest Organization member, which was Xigbar. She leaned against his leg, watching the scene with confused, brown eyes.

"Demyx... don't let the haters... hate..." Experiment #56 said, then... went limp.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Demyx cried to the heavens, PASSIONATELY!

Xemnas and Vexen slowly shuffled inside the room through the busted wall, Xemnas's eyebrow raised and Vexen rolling his eyes.

"...Is he really dead?" Xemnas whispered, hiding his mouth behind his hand.

"No," Vexen said dryly. "Just unconscious. But for the sake of our sanity and even Demyx's, let's just let him believe it's dead."

"I will never let the haters hate, Experiment #56! NEVER!" Demyx cried.

"Well, he's not doing a very good job, considering I'm hating this whole scene," Larxene muttered, stepping away from the disturbing scene and heading over to Xemnas and Vexen. The others murmured in agreement and stepped around Demyx and the fallen arachnid.

"So this is where you guys have been..." Xemnas said, stroking his imaginary beard.

"Yeah, thanks for saving us, leader," Axel said, folding his arms. "We had to fend for ourselves since you took your sweet time getting here."

"Let's not argue right now..." Xaldin said, rubbing his temples. "I haven't eaten in so long, I feel like I might faint."

Tansy ran up to Xemnas and threw herself into his unsuspecting arms, causing him to yelp and stumble backwards. "I'm hungry too, Daddy! Feed me, feed me, feed me!"

Xemnas groaned over Tansy's chirps and held her out to Saïx. "She needs nourishment."

Saïx glared at him, dark bags weighing heavily on his amber eyes as he stood there reeking of putrid stank. "I need a vacation," he muttered to himself, taking Tansy into his arms and walking off towards the kitchen. Everyone followed behind, chattering about their traumatic experience. Vexen stayed behind to grab a mourning Demyx and drag him over to the group.

"THE PASSIONATE PASSION OF FRIENDSHIP!" he wailed.

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Meanwhile, two figures sat in a white room at Organization XIII's second headquarters, Castle Oblivion. The two sipped raspberry tea while reading the final chapters of Bleach, the manga.

"Lexaeus?" Zexion asked, looking up from his copy towards the Silent Hero.

"Yeah?" he said, flipping a page, not bothering to look up.

"I feel like... we've been missing out on something."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Probably not."

"...Yeah, you're right..."

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