Little Problems (Kingdom Hearts)

The Tansy Treasure Hunt

Xemnas let out a sigh and plopped down on one of the couches in Grey Room and watched Tansy draw on his pristine, white floor with a wine red tube of lipstick, a frown plastered on his face. Most of the Organization had already departed to carry out their missions assigned that day so Xemnas could unwind just a little bit. But not much, he thought, watching Tansy draw dragons holding daisies on the floor. He watched as Tansy vigorously colored in one of the daisies with a dead look in his eyes and only sighed when he heard the squish of the lipstick.

"Tansy, that's what happens when you press it too hard into the floor," he said, too tired to bother scolding her drawing on his floor in the first place. He had to help Vexen clean up the messes that his failed experiments caused around the castle all day and night since all of his subordinates managed to weasel out of it. Well, except Saïx. Xemnas didn't dare bother Saïx after all the crap he had to deal with yesterday.

Tansy's lips trembled and tiny whimpers left her mouth. Xemnas groaned and rolled his eyes, knowing that if he didn't act fast, the pin was gonna pop off the grenade.

"Alright, alright, just stay right there and don't move. Please," he said, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he got to his feet and shuffled out of the room to get more crayons from Larxene's room.

Tansy hopped to her feet as soon as Xemnas left the room and skipped over to the wall completely made out of windows. She pouted at the perpetual night sky and turned her eyes to the heart shaped moon that her daddy was so obsessed with.

I wish I could see the sun... she thought.

As she was about to lick the glass (don't ask), she heard footsteps enter the room and turned around only to pout again when she saw Zexion walk in. He didn't seem to notice her, as his nose was stuck in a manga with Shugo Chara written on the front. When he opened up a Corridor of Darkness with just a flick of his wrist, Tansy's eyes widened and her mouth opened into an awestruck smile.

So cool! she thought.

Zexion stepped through it and once he was gone, Tansy skipped over to the Dark Corridor and looked into it, fascinated. Her eyes then landed on a glass bottle full of a green liquid and she bent down to pick it up and inspect it. Some letters were written on it, but her reading wasn't all that great, so she didn't bother trying to decipher it. Her eyes darted back and forth between the bottle and the corridor, her five year old mind wrestling her five year old conscience. Eventually, the little turtle on her shoulder dressed in red won and she grinned, looking back into the Corridor of Darkness.

"Zexy needs his pee pee bottle!" she chirped, checking behind her back to see if Xemnas had come back yet. "I have to return it to him!" she said with a giggle then skipped into the Corridor and disappeared without a trace.

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Xemnas was digging around Larxene's room, muttering curses as he struggled to find her makeup. He released a frustrated yell and kicked a stuffed kitty lying on the floor. The Superior of the In Between had gone back to his kitty kicking ways... "Where could that woman hide her makeup?!" he said.

The door to Larxene's room slammed open then and a disgruntled, tired looking Saïx sent a glare so heated, Xemnas could feel his eyebrows start to burn. "WHY are you making so much noise on my day off? I'm freaking FIVE rooms away from you and could still hear you!"

"Lipstick!" Xemnas said, pulling his hair and squeezing his eyes shut. "I can't find the freaking lipstick! Look at this!" He pulled out a box from underneath Larxene's bed and opened the flaps to reveal... tampons. Lots and lots of tampons. Saïx recoiled in disgust. "No man should see so many tampons at once! NO MAN!" Saïx remained silent as Xemnas had a sleepless induced breakdown. "I'm gonna start sprouting gray hairs at this rate!" he cried, falling to his knees.

Saïx stopped short and slowly raised his eyes to Xemnas's gray head, eyebrows arched. "Right..." he said slowly. With a sigh, he stepped further into the room and decided to help his hopeless Superior. It was a nice day off while it lasted... he thought bitterly, glancing at the pink alarm clock on Larxene's nightstand. It read 10:34 a.m. "Did you check the bathroom?" he said tiredly, heading over to her bathroom.

"HELL no!" Xemnas said, watching as Saïx opened the door and stepped into her bathroom. He had only been in her bathroom once and that was with Larxene and Tansy. Xemnas drew the line at entering a woman's bedroom at entering her bathroom. It had all kinds of creepy shit in there. Xemnas remained on the floor on his knees and prayed to Kingdom Hearts for Saïx's safe return.

Saïx soon reemerged with a tube of pink lipstick and held it up for Xemnas to see. "Found it," he deadpanned and tucked it in his pocket.

"Oh, thank Kingdom Hearts for you, Saïx!" Xemnas said, hopping to his feet.

Saïx rolled his eyes. "What did you want Larxene's lipstick for anyways? ...Are you going through a... phase?"

Xemnas instantly thought of Zexion's phase of dressing like Naruto characters years and years ago. It was dark, confusing time for all of them. He'll never forget the time he almost dressed up as Sakura Haruno before he had to put his foot down and forbid him from cosplaying ever again. Xemnas snapped out of his trance and frantically waved his hands in front of his face, shaking his head, no. The Organization was finished with having phases.

"NO. It's for Tansy to draw with on the floor," he said quickly.

"Why wasn't that my first guess..." Saïx muttered to himself, looking off to the side. "Now I'll have to clean that up..."

"Let's go give it to her before she breaks something," Xemnas said cheerfully, choosing to ignore Saïx's misery. He was now in high spirits since he could finally leave that pink Hellscape.

Saïx led the way and the two walked into the Grey Room ready tell Tansy to stop doing something only to find the room... empty. Empty. Emptier than Demyx's head. That was pretty damn empty. Saïx's scowl grew even scowlier and Xemnas totally deflated.

"You've... YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! CAN I EVER GET A BREAK?!?!?!" he cried out the room, falling to his knees.

Saïx pinched the bridge the space between his eyebrows and sighed.

I need a vacation...