Little Problems (Kingdom Hearts)

Saïx Needs a Vacation

"We looked through the whole CASTLE!" Xemnas cried, throwing his hands up.

"Well, she's clearly not here," Saïx said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So then what do you suggest? I guess Tansy just managed to teleport to some other place—" Xemnas said sarcastically, but then froze. Realization dawned on him and he felt his knees shake. "Oh... Oh... OH... NO!"

Saïx was already two steps ahead of him and with a sigh, he pulled out a small notebook from his pocket. As Xemnas started having a breakdown behind him, Saïx studied the notebook which was the mission log for Organization XIII. Saïx felt relieved when he remembered that he had the Organization carry out their missions in pairs so the areas they would have to search would be fewer. Xemnas was still wailing in the background with his hands tangled in his hair.

"XEMNAS!" Saïx yelled. The Superior of the In Between instantly shut his mouth and sucked his lips into his mouth. "THANK you..." he muttered. "Tansy must have escaped through a Corridor of Darkness and could be in any one of these worlds right now."

Xemnas groaned and put his face in his hands. "You know, I always figured that King Mickey or a giant heartless or Sora would kill me... but NOT a five year old, HUMAN girl."

"I don't know why you put an emphasis on 'human', Superior," Saïx said. "You're forgetting that Sora's human as well."

Xemnas narrowed his eyes at the thought of that happy-go-lucky, Keyblade-swinging hero of light and slowly lifted his head from behind his hands. "That boy ain't human..." he muttered.

Saïx rolled his eyes and pointed to the first mission. "Let's just try this world first."

Xemnas peered over Saïx's shoulder and looked at the first world. Wonderland. Oh, Kingdom Hearts, no! He thought with a grimace. Not that freaking acid trip! Xemnas hated Wonderland. The last time he had to visit, he felt like he was suffering through a series of horrible hallucinations. Everything, from the talking cat to the sentient card soldiers, experienced with little to no sleep, felt like one severe acid trip. He ended fainting and lied out in the middle of the Lotus Forest for three days until Saïx noticed he was missing and went to go find him.

Much to Xemnas's dread, Saïx opened up a Corridor of Darkness and tucked away the mission log with a sigh. "Well, let's go quickly before she hurts herself... or hurts something else."

As Saïx stepped through the Dark Corridor, the Idea Chicken strutted into Xemnas's brain and laid a beautiful Idea Egg, which hatched into a brilliant idea. He smiled evilly and quickly opened his own Corridor of Darkness before slipping into his instead of Saïx's. He saw the other worlds they had to search through, so decided to go to Agrabah instead. He'll be fine, he thought as he appeared in the sandy, sweltering world. Xemnas stood there for a few seconds, feeling proud of his idea, before a unexpected sensation swept over him. "OH MY GOSH, IT FEELS LIKE MY EYEBROWS ARE GONNA BURN OFF IN THIS HEAT."

His outburst then caught the attention of a pack of Deserters.

"Damn it..." he muttered.

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Marluxia sighed and rolled his eyes before shoving Demyx's cowering form away from his back. "Please refrain from touching me," he said, shooting him an annoyed glare.

"I-I h-hate this world, M-Marly," Demyx said, clutching his Sitar tighter in his hands at the sound of a wolf howling.

The two Organization members were assigned to Halloween Town that day. Mission: take out the Shadow Globs. Marluxia always hated seemingly silly missions like these and hated this one especially because, not only was he stuck with the guy NO one ever wanted to be stuck with, but he also couldn't reach the last Shadow Glob perched on top of Jack Skellington's house. He had been trying to take it out for hours and cursed himself for not packing enough ethers.

Another wolf howled, causing Demyx to squeak and randomly swing his Sitar, smacking an unsuspecting Marluxia right in the face. Marluxia gritted his teeth and summon his scythe. "Alright, that is the LAST straw, you vexatious worm!" he cried, chasing Demyx around Guillotine Square.

As Marluxia tried to kill his comrade, the Shadow Glob giggled. Wait... giggled? Tansy's head popped up from the "Shadow Glob", which was really just a purple beanbag, and scrambled off of Jack's house. Where she got the beanbag? It's anyone's guess. She watched Marluxia chase around Demyx and giggled again. Then she shed her purple beanbag and skipped off deeper into Halloween Town.

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I need a vacation... Saïx thought with a frown as he stared at the Lotus Forest in Wonderland... alone. Xemnas had disappeared. "Figures he'd do something like this..." he thought, kicking his foot in the dirt. He heard the sound of arguing rise from behind some of the tall grass and sighed as he recognized the voice: Larxene. These missions are supposed to be covert... he thought, making his way over to her.

"Why would you think it'd be a good idea to eat a giant mushroom in this acid trip of a world?! Haven't you read the reports?!" Larxene shrieked, glaring at something on the ground. Saïx, who wasn't noticed yet, lowered his eyes and instantly sucked his lips into his mouth. Larxene was arguing with a very tiny Xigbar. He seemed to be about the size of Saïx's pointer finger.

"I was curious, ya killjoy!" A tiny voice squeaked from the tiny Xigbar. It sounded like he sucked up a whole tank of helium.

Saïx walked up to Larxene's side and stared down at Xigbar with a disapproving look. "Xigbar, you fool..." he said.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A FOOL, YA GIANT TOOL?" Xigbar squeaked in his helium voice, shaking his tiny fist.

I. Need. A. Vacation, Saïx thought.