Little Problems (Kingdom Hearts)

The Treasure Hunt Continues!

Huffs and puffs fell out of Xemnas's mouth as he put his Etheral Blades and stared into the empty streets of Agrabah.

I think I just completed someone's mission... he thought glumly, rolling up his heavy, black sleeves only for them to slide back down, sending a prickling hot flash through his body.

"Why THIS world, Xemnas, why THIS world?" he said to himself, kicking up sand as he stomped forward. A cloud of dust rose from his stomping and settled in his eyes and throat, causing him to hack and his eyes water. He released a growl and yelled, "TANSY! WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE DUSK KIBBLE!"

"...Superior, why are you yelling?" A familiar voice said, British accent drifting into Xemnas's ears.

Xemnas whipped his head around, his eyes bloodshot and teary from the sand and his hair wildly sticking up in different directions from his previous battle. Luxord and Roxas recoiled in shock and Roxas accidentally summon his Keyblade, thinking it was some horrendous monster that resembled his leader.

"DIE, MONSTER!" Roxas yelled, swinging his Keyblade.

"No no, wait—!" Luxord cried, but it was too late. Roxas's Keyblade made contact with Xemnas's cranium, causing Xemnas to cry out in pain and collapse to the ground in a heap.

He wailed when he swallowed a mouthful of sand and said, "WHY this world, Xemnas? WHY. THIS. WORLD?"

"Oops," Roxas mumbled when he realized it was just his superior.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Luxord said, rushing to Xemnas's side and handing him a potion.

"I thought he was our target!" Roxas said, putting away his Keyblade.

"Our target is a pack of deserters!" Luxord screeched.

"...Oh."

Luxord sighed and helped Xemnas to his feet. "You're too paranoid, boy. I think seeing that mutant spider changed you."

Roxas shivered despite standing in 100 degree weather wearing a heavy black coat. "I'll kill all the spiders..." he whispered, summoning his Keyblade again, a blank look in his eyes.

"ROXAS!" Xemnas yelled, snapping Roxas out of his trance.

"This boy needs counseling..." Luxord muttered to himself, eyeing the boy warily.

Xemnas walked out of Luxord's grasp, feeling slightly better after having that potion, and immediately slapped the Keyblade out of his hands. Roxas watched dumbly as it disappeared. "Now that THAT threat is out of the way... have you two spotted that little terror around here?"

"What, Tansy?" Luxord said, raising an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you've lost her. You see, that's why I suggested investing in a leash."

Xemnas rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'm assuming that means you haven't seen her."

"No..." Roxas said, shaking his head. "And we've been searching high and low for those deserters too so we would've seen her."

Xemnas released a frustrated sigh and smoothed his hair down under his fingers. "If that kid isn't eaten by a heartless by the time we find her, I'm gonna be surprised," he muttered.

"Well, we wish you the best, Superior. We're off to take out some deserters," Luxord said, grabbing Roxas by the collar and dragging him away.

Xemnas watched as the two headed off and frowned, realizing he forgot to tell them that he accidentally completed their mission for them. He contemplated telling them, but dropped it. "Eh, a little fruitless hunting won't kill them," he said opening a Corridor of Darkness.

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"EAT IT," Larxene growled, shoving a tiny piece of mushroom into a tiny Xigbar's face.

Xigbar scrunched his nose and shoved it away. "But I hate mushrooms!"

"THEN WHY DID YOU EAT ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Larxene screeched, sending her comrade a heated glare.

Xigbar didn't flinch and replied with an upturned nose, "I don't have to answer to you."

Larxene's eyebrow twitched and Saïx let out a sigh. He then dug into his pocket and pulled out an esuna. "Take this, Number Two. It should return you to your normal size."

Xigbar took the item warily and took a tiny sip. Larxene sighed as she watched Xigbar rise to his normal height again. "Great, now I won't have to do all of the work. Thank Kingdom Hearts."

"Have you two seen Tansy around here?" Saïx said, folding his arms. "She escaped through someone's Corridor of Darkness."

"Hell, I don't blame her..." Xigbar muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

Saïx sent him a withering glare while Larxene snorted. "Figures that idiot would lose her so soon. Marluxia owes me five hundred munny."

"I'm assuming that is a no," Saïx said, already exhausted from putting up with the two for five minutes.

"Nah, try the water and roses duo. I think they went to Halloween Town," Xigbar said.

"Fine," Saïx said. "Carry on with your mission. Oh, and Xigbar, Larxene?"

"Yep?" Xigbar said nonchalantly.

A dark aura began to surround Saïx, causing Xigbar and even Larxene to flinch. "...The next time I find the two of you screeching like wild baboons out in the open on a mission like this again... I'll shove my claymore so far up your rear ends, you'll be coughing up the heartless remains from my recent battles for weeks. ...Understand?"

Xigbar stared at Saïx with his jaw hanging wide open while Larxene looked as pale as a ghost. Saïx took there horrified silence as an 'understood' and opened a Corridor of Darkness, a neutral expression plastered on his face.

"When this is all over, I'm standing up for my rights and demanding a vacation," he muttered, stepping into the darkness.