Little Problems (Kingdom Hearts)

Bath Time Struggles

Tansy stared at the table with a bright smile lighting up her face.

"Yes... my name is Tansy! I remembered, Daddy!" She said, turning around in Xemnas's lap to stare into his eyes.

His eyebrows shot up on his forehead as he thought, So, this girl lost her memory?! Ah hell to the no! If she couldn't even remember her own NAME then how can she remember how she got here?! I'm never gonna get rid of this kid!

Before Xemnas could interrogate her further on the subject, Xaldin came strolling in with a large chocolate cake. Tansy squealed and jumped up in Xemnas's lap, making him yelp and automatically grab her legs to keep her from falling.

"Cake! Cake! Xaldy made cake!"

As Xaldin began distributing slices to everyone at the table, Xemnas was simmering.

How the hell can he bake a cake that fast?!

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After desert, Xemnas took a good look at Tansy and came to an obvious conclusion. Tansy needed a bath. Like, a really long bath. A good scrubbin'. He never knew that small humans were so messy when they ateーespecially if it was chocolate cake.

Now... how do you bathe this? He thought as he held her out in front of him at arms length and studied her.

She stared back, thinking, I wonder if Axel can touch his nose with his tongue? I can!

Out of the blue, Tansy began licking her nose with her tongue, making Xemnas gave her a weird look.

Mmm! My nose tastes like chocolate! She thought, smiling.

I wonder what goes through her head... Xemnas wondered, narrowing his eyes.

I love ponies, rainbows, princesses, phone operators, blenders, glitterーoh, I love glitter! I wonder how Daddy would look in glitter!

Tansy began to giggle as she imagined Xemnas's black coat covered in glitter.

You know what, I think I'm better off not knowing. Xemnas concluded as he watched Tansy randomly begin to giggle.

"Alright, time to ask Larxene to give you a bath..." Xemnas muttered.

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"Really? You want me to give her a bath?" Larxene asked, hands on her hips.

She had already showered and changed into her pjs and was ready to crawl into bed when Xemnas came pounding on her door.

"Well, you're female. And I have no idea how to bath that gender!"

"Then why couldn't you ask Xion?"

"Because she's already asleep! Just look at her, Larxene! She even got chocolate in her hair!"

Larxene groaned and put a hand to her forehead. "Fine, I've got a better idea. Why don't I show you how to bath her just this once so that you won't bother me later? Sound fair? I show you today and you'll know how to do it yourself from now on."

Xemnas mulled it over in his head. If I do learn, then I'll have to do it on my own... If I don't, Larxene won't bathe her at all...

Before he could make a decision, Tansy took one of her chocolate covered hands and smeared the chocolate all over Xemnas's face. Then she began playing with his hair and got all the chocolate in his hair too. His perfect hair.

He frowned an sighed. "Yeah, okay." He followed Larxene inside her room and, not expecting all the girly things and pink since he never visited Larxene's room, almost dropped Tansy.

"Just stay in here while I bring her into the bathroom and take off her clothes. And start the bath. Knowing you, you'd probably just mess it up and freak out."

She grabbed ahold of Tansy's waist and tried to pull her off of him. She tugged. And tugged. Then yanked. But she wouldn't budge.

"Why won't the stupid kid move?!" Larxene said, frustrated.

"That's what I've been wondering all day! And there is no way I am getting into a bathtub with her!"

Larxene gave up and let her arms fall back to her sides. "Then there's only one way to get her off of you."

"How?" Xemnas asked wearily.

"Simple. We're going to have to bribe her."

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"But, Larxene, she's already had desert! She wouldn't want more!"

"Shush! Just keep covering her eyes and let me finish! Gosh! Don't you know that little kids can never have enough desert?" Larxene rolled her eyes and continued placing little hard candies all around the edge of the bathtub.

Tansy was confused as to why Xemnas's big hand was covering her eyes, but just figured they were playing a game of "peek-a-boo".

I don't think Daddy knows how to play peek-a-boo... She thought.

"Okay, I'm finished. Uncover her eyes now."

"This better work, Number XII..." Xemnas muttered as he uncovered Tansy's eyes.

She blinked once and let her eyes sweep over the bathroom until they landed on the candy. She gasped and her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she began struggling to get out of Xemnas's grip.

"Alright, alright, kid. You can have the candy as long as you get off of Daddy." Tansy bobbed her head up and down and jumped out of Xemnas's arms.

"I-I'm free... I'M FREE!"

Tansy quickly swiped a piece of the candy, unwrapped it, and popped it in her mouth. "Yummy!"

Larxene shrugged and said, "Okay, now let's give you a bath, alright? Oh, and Xemnas?"

"Yes?"

"You owe three hundred munny."

"What?!"

"And a week off."

"WHAT?!"

"Andー"

"I think that's just enough!"