ஜ Capricious & Evanescent ஜ Assorted and Mainly Frerard One-Shots ஜ

Time Will Never Break Your Heart, But It'll Take The Pain Away

Golden Days//Panic! At the Disco

"WHERE—"

"YOU BABBLING—"

"—IS YOUR SENSE—"

"—CRAZY PERSON! IT'S—"

"—FRANK ANTHONY!"

"—2016—"

"GET BACK—"

"AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE IT'S BIBLICAL TIMES!"

"—HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"THE MAIN QUOTE YOU USE 'AGAINST' HOMOSEXUALITY IS FROM LEVITICUS, WHERE THEY DID FUCKING BLOOD SACRIFICES TO ATONE FOR THEIR SINS. DO YOU WANT ME TO GO FIND A DOVE AND A DONKEY TO SACRIFICE TO GOD? I CAN'T STAND IT, I CAN'T—"

"YOU STOP—"

"—STAND YOU, I'VE—"

"—BLASPHEMING—"

"—SAID IT OVER AND OVER—"

"—AND USING THAT TONE OF VOICE!"

"—AND I'M DONE! I'M DONE DEALING WITH YOUR INSANITY MOTHER BECAUSE I'M GAY, I LIKE MEN, I HAVE A BLOODY BOYFRIEND MOTHER, AND I'M DONE! I'M LEAVING AND NEVER BLOODY COMING BACK!"

"FRANK!"

The door opened and Frank stormed out with what looked like two boxes, his mother standing in the doorway and looking like a ghost, as if unable to accept what life had thrown at her and was stuck in purgatory. I had worried a bit about physical violence on her part, but her eyes just washed over me, the person she probably harbored the most hate for in the world. I wouldn't have blamed her anguish if she hadn't been the one yelling at Frank, the only person I goddamn cared about. I knew homophobia was drilled in at an early age and it was hard to take that out of someone. But being able to yell at someone as beautiful, as angelic as Frank, that took a particularly cold heart.

The shouting was probably audible for several houses down. I was standing at the edge of the driveway, kicking around stones and trying not to cry as the hateful words were flung about. I'd promised Frank I'd stay while he got his stuff, but it didn't change the fact that every word felt like a blow. Yelling reminded me of my childhood and it upset me more than anything I'd ever seen. Disturbing imagery, physical pain, it was nothing compared to that jagged noise, those emotional blows. Even though they weren't directed at me, the words they used as weapons had a blast radius and it took everything I had not to run and hide from the shrapnel. But I knew being here for Frank was more important than anything, he was the one right in front of the bomb, and my pain was nothing compared to his. I went up to him, placed my hand on his arm for a moment before I shifted one of the boxes out of his hands, so I could at least help with something. The tears I could tell he was holding back told me the wounds were far deeper in an emotional sense, though.

"You can cry, Frank. It's okay." As I turned around, I looked back and made the mistake of glancing at his mother. I met her gaze. It sent shivers down my spine. It hadn't changed, it was still blank and just... betrayed looking. Her son hadn't betrayed her though, and I wished I could just make her see that. Frank loved her. She was just misguided, it was probably her upbringing that had hardened her heart. You would have thought that with being a hardcore Catholic as she was, she would have read at least the Gospels. From what Frank had taught me, Jesus spoke a lot about the hardening of hearts. Hate and a strict coherence to the rules wasn't what God wanted. He wanted us to love each other.

I turned my gaze to Frank, and brushed his shoulder as the tears began to fall. We began to walk away from his former house and head back home.

"Crying helps." I said, trying to break the anguish filled silence. "I don't know all the science behind it, but when I was little, I did it a lot. I thought I was weak, b-but my teacher, my fourth grade teacher, she... She told me it meant I was strong. I didn't understand at the time, but I guess it releases endorphins or something that build up? E-either way, the way you've harbored this pain, you should know you're really strong. You took so much hurt Frank, so much hurt without letting it out until you couldn't hold it anymore, and that's so strong of you Frank. You are so strong." I would have hugged him right then and there, but we were each holding boxes, and despite the way my fingers twitched for him, I wasn't going to delay getting as far away from the stabbing pain of his mother as we possibly could.