ஜ Capricious & Evanescent ஜ Assorted and Mainly Frerard One-Shots ஜ

Come Down, Give Up, Cuz It's All Right

Don't Try//Gerard Way

tw//body dysphoria (is that a thing to tag? idk)

Flat. Rigid. Girls aren't supposed to be flat.

I knew it wasn't true, I didn't believe it, I never thought things like that about any other girls. But whenever I looked at the mirror all I could see was Gerard. That horrendously masculine name. That name everyone called me because I was too scared to correct them.

I slid my hands down the corset I was wearing, the useless piece of fabric that was supposed to give me at least the semblance of curves, but didn't. I had hopes that if I wore it long enough, maybe, maybe it could alter my torso, change me into her. But a corset wouldn't change anything else, even if it had the slightest chance of giving me that hourglass figure every girl wanted. I still didn't have breasts. I still had male genitals.

I started at the sound of a knock on the bathroom door. "Gee?" The voice was sleepy, as I would assume of anyone waking up at three AM. Frank. I was hesitant to open the door, not because I didn't want to see him, but I didn't want him to see me. Me, the boy made up of hard lines, sharp and boxy parts, hiding in the masque of she/her pronouns. He deserved so much better than this. He deserved a girl, not a sweaty, smelly, useless mess like me.

I flung my shirt on over my corset and opened the door anyway though. My heart melted when I saw him. He was rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, yawning, and then resolving to a pout when he saw me. Cuteness, that's something he'd never run out of.

"Why'd you leave bed?" He whined, stepping into the bathroom and slipping his arms around me. I blushed and hugged him back.

"I had to pee..." I lied. Frank pulled away though, frowning and placing his hands on the front of my shirt. His palms slipped over the top of the corset, as if feeling the stiff wire of it under the fabric of my shirt, and my stomach dropped. I knew I wasn't supposed to be wearing it unless he was aware I had it on, due to... other incidents with it. My heart rate increased as he lifted up the bottom of my shirt, seeing the white, constricting garment underneath. I sucked in my breath and looked away.

"Gee..." He looked at me, as if disappointed, and I felt my eyes watering. "How tight?"

"I..." I swallowed. "Not so bad..." Frank furrowed his brow.

"Turn around, baby." He sighed.

"No." I said quickly, my lip trembling, and regretting it immediately after. Way to be subtle, Gee. Frank narrowed his eyes at me, and I obeyed, hanging my head in shame. I lifted my shirt off, knowing that that order would come next, and tried to blink away tears as I felt Frank's hand on the back, untying the knot I'd made. He pulled out the string on the bow and I let out a heavy breath as I immediately felt the constricting pressure on my chest dissipate. He loosened it to what I guess he assumed was the right tightness, then tied it again. At least he let me keep it on, I briefly thought.

"Breathing?" He asked softly, placing a hand over my chest. I sucked in air and let out a deep breath in response. He hummed and his hands slipped around my waist as he pressed his warm cheek to the bare skin of my back.

"I love you." I felt his lips gently kiss the skin right above the bow of the corset. "I know how painful it is for you." He whispered softly, nosing at the skin. "I know how much it must hurt, but you are still a beautiful, beautiful girl." He brushed the skin between my leggings and the corset, making me shiver. "I don't care if you never have curves... I don't care if you're always going to be taller than me... I don't care if you never have breasts, or a vagina, because those things don't make you a girl. I don't care if you want to have surgery or not, because you are just as much of a girl either way, okay? Genevieve, you are my beautiful, beautiful babydoll. My beautiful girl." I sniffed as he left small kisses along my shoulder and tried not to cry, but the tears were already spilling. I wiped away at the drops of salt water spilling down my cheeks but it was no use, they were overflowing and I hated how weak I was, emotionally.

"Look at me?" He asked softly. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes, allowing myself a few seconds to breathe shakily before I faced him. My face was red, my eyes were blotchy, and it was all so gross. I was gross. It was in such stark contrast to him. Even though he looked so pained looking at me, he was so beautiful. Him, in his oversized band t-shirt like a nightgown, in his eyeliner smudged from sleep, not bothering to follow any of the rules of the male gender but still my beautiful, beautiful boy. I never knew how he did it. He didn't seem to either.

He ran his knuckles along my curved jawline, the only part of my body I didn't truly hate, and kissed me softly. His lips, his lips. I would never get over how they felt. So soft, so caring, so eager. I could never get enough of them. People say that a lot about the people they feel attracted to, but it wasn't the same thing, this was different, yet so true. It was as if every time I kissed him I missed something in the experience, and no matter how many times I kissed him, I just could never quite find what that was.

His lips gently slipped away from my own, and he pressed his forehead to mine, his breath feathering across my lips. I smiled at that, not even having to look down to know he had to be on the tips of his toes to do this.

"Let's go back, okay? You can sleep in my bed, if you want..." He slipped his hands down to my hips and drew slow circles on my slight love handles. I swallowed and nodded, allowing him to lead me into his room, the only lighting being the fairy lights we'd put up on the wall together. It gave the room a romantic glow, making Frank look like a hero, an angel. Even when he was sad, when he was in pain and that beautiful smile was locked up, he was truly, heartbreakingly beautiful. He slipped himself under the covers, and when I didn't immediately follow, he made cute little grabby hands for me. An almost melancholy yearning fell over me and I joined him, pulling him into my body like he was my last hope.

"I love you." I whispered against his hair, so quiet I could barely hear myself. "I love you so, so fucking much." He hummed against my bare shoulder, languidly pressing soft, wet kisses to the skin. Everything was better with Frank. Everything was always better with Frank.