Let's Forget Everything (Michael Clifford)

Chapter 32

(Michael's POV)

"Hello?" I questioned nervously into the phone.

There are only a couple reasons the nursing home would call my personal cell phone, and none of them can be good.

"Hi is this Michael? My name is Jane Sterling from St. Ives Nursing home."

"Hi..." I said slowly, my stomach doing flips. Part of me knew what was coming next, yet her words still shocked me.

All I was able to process next was, "It's your grandmother.....Passed away...." I felt like I was blacking out. In just a matter of seconds it was as if my whole world was crumbling down and ripping apart at the seams. It was like I left my body, almost like I was running on autopilot.

I veered to the left and parked my car in front of a random house in a random neighborhood. Whoever was on the other end of the line had either stopped talking or I hung up on them, I couldn't remember. I just stared out the window and into the world around me. It was dark, there didn't seem to be anyone around. It was almost like god, or whatever higher being was up there, took a remote and pointed it at the world before hitting pause.

I don't know how much time went by before I started to cry. When I started crying, I cried like I had never cried before. I sobbed, I sobbed so hard it shook my entire being. My soul shook along with my empty chest.

Without Jessie, a big chunk was missing from my heart. A piece that she carries every day without even know it. The rest of my heart, the remainder that kept me up and going everyday, that piece was just ripped out of my chest in a matter of seconds.

A gaping black hole has taken the place of where my heart used to be.

Is it possible to live without a heart? Or would I just turn to dust like my grandmother had?

The more I cried, the more I had the overwhelming sensation of not being able to breathe. It felt like I was suffocating, like I was being strangled by my own hands.

I had to get out of this car, the small space was closing in on me.

I felt as if I was getting bigger and the car just kept getting smaller.

I furiously unbuckled, opening the door and allowing myself to plop down on the concrete sidewalk.

I didn't even bother to close my car door before falling back onto the ground behind me.

I looked up at the sky, it seemed as though it was spinning. Or maybe that was me...I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up.

My whole world was spinning.

I didn't stop crying for what seemed like hours.

I had my eyes closed while my sobs shook my body. It was an odd sensation to be so out in the open, yet not be aware of what was going on around you.

All of a sudden, a new emotion hit me and hit me hard.

I need her. I need the other piece of my heart.

She was the only one, the only one I needed in this moment. The only one who would stop my world from spinning, the only one who can fill my emptiness.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and tried to breathe in and out as I dialed her number.

I prayed to whatever god was out there to make her answer the phone.

On the third ring, my prayers were answered. Her sweet unsuspecting voice spoke through the phone, "Hey, look...about tonight."

I started to break down again as realization hit me. My grandma was dead, and Jessie didn't know. I would have to tell her, which would just make it all the more real. I knew the moment I said it outloud, it would be true. I wouldn't be able to take it back, I wouldn't be able to pretend that she was still alive.