Let's Forget Everything (Michael Clifford)

Chapter 37

I dialed Michael's number, my heart racing as the phone rang.

After the first ring, I turned a corner in Calum's apartment building and saw a boy sitting on the top of the staircase.

I ended the call and put my phone away, slowly walking towards Michael and sitting beside him on the steps.

We were both quiet, sitting side by side but not looking at each other. I didn't know what I could say to make it okay, to make sure he doesn't leave me again.

"It's so good to see you again. I've missed you so much," Michael said out of nowhere. He was looking down at his hands, almost refusing to look at me.

"Michael, I've missed you so much-" I started, but stopped when Michael looked up at me. His eyes looked wet with tears.

"Please explain to me what happened. Please explain to me why my best friend is in love with you, and why you kissed him." He looked so fragile, like if I said the wrong thing he might just break.

I was quiet for a minute, trying to get my thoughts together. I had been practicing what I wanted to say to him but now that he was in front of me, I felt like I was at a loss for words.

"For months i've been wishing I could forget you," I said slowly.

"I tried to forget all the things you ever said to me. I tried to forget all the things we did together. I tried to forget your face, but I just couldn't get it out of my head." I could hear my voice shake.

"Every time you ignored me was like a slap in the face..." I trailed off, looking down. I couldn't look at him while I said what I needed to say.

"You're my best friend..... My whole world revolved around you and then all of a sudden you were gone. I went from seeing you and talking to you everyday to nothing, just silence. Then at that party when you said we were 'just friends once too'......But you don't understand. We were never just friends...you've always been so special to me. Before we started dating, it wasn't that I didn't find you attractive, or I only saw you as a friend; it was that I didn't know what I was feeling towards you. I didn't know what I was feeling because I didn't know what love was supposed to feel like. But after being with you I realized that's what love feels like."

I paused trying to collect my thoughts. He just sat there, wide eyed and staring at me.

"After your grandma....After that night when we just laid outside together, I thought things with us would go back to normal, like you would just realize how much I love you and that everything with Bradley was a lie. Then when we started talking again it made me so happy, but it was just as friends. I accepted that because of the circumstances and I knew you needed time." He put his hand on my thigh, leaning closer.

"Yes I kissed Calum but I was drunk, it was a mistake and I feel so terrible. He means so much to me, but only as a friend Michael I need you to understand that it was nothing more than a failed attempt at me trying to forget you." My heart sped up as he moved even closer to me.

"When I told you 'I love you' for the first time, and you said you felt it before me...I'm not sure if you did. I've always had that feeling that I have around you, that warm and fuzzy, dumb feeling. I just didn't know what it was. And now that I know what it feels like without you...."

(Michael's POV)

She finished her rant, at least I think she did. I heard all that I needed to hear to feel secure about us; at least all I needed to hear in this moment.

I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms, holding her as close as possible.

"Don't leave me again," she said, her voice sounding muffled against my t-shirt. It sounded like she was crying.