Let's Forget Everything (Michael Clifford)

Chapter 31

After unlocking the car, Calum picked me up and laid me down in the backseat before climbing in and shutting the door.

Within seconds his lips were back on mine. His body was pressed so close to me that when he moved to put his hand on my face he pushed my head against the backseat window, but I didn't flinch.

His lips were so soft, almost as soft as his cheek.

I heard him moan against my mouth when I tightened my legs around his waist.

I opened my eyes but didn't break away, I wanted to see how much room I had to lay down.

I took a second to look at Calum's face. His eyes were screwed shut, he looked so lost in this moment, so lost in me. I closed my eyes and pulled him closer as I sunk farther down onto the car seat.

Out of nowhere Calum pulled away, looking down at me with an expression I couldn't place.

"I care about you too much to do this," he said, pulling his hand away from my face.

I stared at him for a second, anger starting to take over. Why wouldn't he let me have this? I just needed this moment to forget everything. All I wanted was to close my eyes and kiss him, to pretend that he's someone else.

I immediately put my hands over my face and started crying, not being able to hold it in anymore.

Calum looked down at me with an alarmed look on his face.

"Hey, it's okay."

He sat up, with my legs still around him and held me against his chest.

Sitting in this position just made me cry even more as I thought back to the night Michael held me while I cried at the ice cream shop, where he kissed me for the first time.

"Please don't cry." Calum spoke so softly, like he was scared his words would hurt me.

After allowing myself to cry for a couple more minutes, I wiped my face with the back of my hand and untangled myself from Calum, feeling embarrassed. What kind of person have I become? I was so quick to use Calum for my own selfish reasons.

"I'm so sorry," I said after collecting myself.

"Please don't apologize," he said sincerely.

I just looked at him not sure what to say, why has he always been so kind to me? Even when I put him through shit like this?

"Everything that has happened with Michael is my fault Jess. I'm the one that told him Angela was telling the truth, I'm the one that convinced him you cheated with Bradley." He sounded so upset, like he genuinely felt it was his fault.

"Calum you've already apologized so many times, you know I don't blame you. Michael is the one that chose to believe the rumors, Michael's the one that chose to ignore me."

We were both quiet, sitting side by side in the backseat of his car. Looking at the floor I started to count the empty water bottles and gum wrappers to take my mind off everything that has happened in the past hour.

"I never believed Angela, I didn't believe that you cheated on Michael," Calum said, playing with his fingers. His fingernails were painted black from the time we got drunk and he asked me to paint them. They were starting to chip.

"Then why did you tell Michael that-" I started, but he cut me off.

"I don't know. I just thought...I don't know what I thought. I'm just so mad at myself for contributing to Michael's doubt and wanted you to know how sorry I am."

"It's okay Calum," I said and I meant it. I'm confused as to why Calum would tell Michael that I cheated when he didn't believe I did, but I trust that Calum's intentions are always pure when it comes to our friendship. I gave him a small smile to show him that he shouldn't feel bad.