I Don't Think You Know

I Can't Explain Myself

I'm a jealous girl with words like knives,

Inside my brain arguments thrive,

If you take my hand we can take the dive,

Because I'm glad your here with me, alive.

I remember the sarcasm dripping off my tongue,

And you joined in because we're young,

And we shared jokes and I covered my ears while you sung,

I remember that being the only time I had fun.

Surrounded by giggles and points at my face,

When my heart began to thump and race,

You just shrugged and carried on,

I never knew soon you'd be gone.

The time you swore at me and I flipped out,

You didn't know what I was on about,

Couldn't hear your bad singing above my shout,

So you decided to just shut your mouth.

I remember when I was crying and you were worried it was because of you,

You tried to offer me tissue after tissue,

You really didn't know what to do,

And it was sweet but pretty funny too.

I remember you joking all the time but you were not really mean,

If you had, then I know too I would have been,

We were like a pair of standup comedians on a beam,

"Hey now, there's nothing here to be seen."

I remember you helping me and saying it was no big deal,

I thought maybe one day my dreams could be real,

Our sort-of friendship with a smile it was sealed,

I guess it takes time for scars to heal.

And now I've told people about it all,

I can't help wondering if I was a fool,

To convince myself nothing could come of it, because you were cool,

And on my embarrassed face I didn't want to fall.

I never wanted to be out on the shelf,

I wanted to tell you but you don't see through the yelp,

Every word silently brings me hope,

But I'm sorry, I can't explain myself.

- Gingerbread. (Those people know)...