LoveDrug | n.h

Chapter 38

Sometimes I just feel lost. I don't know where my home is anymore. I don't know where I am supposed to be or where I should be. Nothing makes sense. It's weird how much a person can change you. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. That one special person creep between your ribs and finds it's way into your heart and takes a place there. The person could even save you or betray you and looked at me now; I can't live without him.

Maybe this was stupid of me. Thinking that we actually could have worked out together. We're so different. "Like the light and the dark" Niall's words was true. We're the opposites. We would never work out, right? The fact that both Niall and Liam kept this from me makes it hurt even more than it should.

I looked out the kitchen window and down to the street were Niall had stalked be back home a few weeks ago. How I had shown him my middle finger clearly pissed. Even though it was just a few weeks ago it felt like ages.

I didn't like the feeling I had. The feeling that I needed to have him around 24/7. I was independent before and I can become that again. But still I haven't talked to Niall and heard his explanation.

I continued to stare out the window until I heard a loud thud. I quickly spun around and found Niall standing in the door way. His eyes were glossy and he was panting. Did he ran here?

"What do you want?" I mumbled while still looking at him. He closed the door behind him and walked closer to me.

"We need to talk. It's not how it looks like..." He started until I raised my finger and cut him off.

"Really? Because the way I see it you along with my brother are junkies and I shouldn't have jumped into a relationship with you." I spat and Niall's jaw clenched.

"Could you please let me explain?" Niall's voice was rough and I shrugged my shoulders.

"You can try, but I think you're wasting your time" I replied lazily while jumping up on the kitchen counter to sit. Niall walked closer and closer until our noses were brushing each others.

"You heard right. We were talking about drugs. Drugs that we have done, drugs that we have not. Not just Liam and I but the rest of the gang too. You know, Harry, Zayn and Louis. Anyway it was never in our intention that you would find out. I'm really sorry Lex." He rambled on and I rolled my eyes.

"Let's forget about the fact that it's no good for you or that it's not legal but what the hell are you guys thinking?!" I yelled at him. "Do you know how many people that die of drugs? Way to many Niall! I really thought that you at least had a little sense in your mind, but I guess not!"

"Look Lex, I am really sorry and I would never do that to you. But I did and I am so so sorry for it. Please forgive me. I love you. The day we took them I was stressed and it made me calm down and..." he continued talking but I couldn't hear. I saw his mouth move but I couldn't hear a word of what he was saying. 

"W-what did you say?" my voice stuttered.

"I said I love you." 

*

(A\N: School tomorrow... I hate school!)