The Right To Write

More On Descriptions

Last section I discussed the nature of descriptions, now I plan to go into detail about it. Here are the guidelines to compelling descriptions.

Intertwine description with action. You have an evoking setting that you want to share with your readers, but it doesn't seem to stick. Why aren't they reading it? Because it's description, and that's all it is. Frankly, people don't want to read it, no matter how interesting it seems. It has nothing to do with what the main character is doing, therefore it's not important to the reader, not a bit. Settings and explanations are stagnant, inactive surroundings. Boring. Writers usually set apart individual paragraphs for action. Well, that seems all fine and good, separating descriptions from action, right? Bad news for you, it isn't. Readers will know that by the time the reach the second or third sentence in the paragraph; as a result, they'll skim through it. The solution is easy, mix in the two elements of your story. Describe as  you advance the plot. Here's an example of a dull way of describing:

The river crashed against the bank, spurting clouds of foam. It set a cold breeze about the mossy waterfall. Any wildlife was quickly masked by the towering beauty of water crashing into one's vision. Bare colors showed through the frothing body of water. Dark shadows of rocks paved the floor.  Green mountains of furry aquatic mildew layered the floor.

Laura dipped her feet into the water next to Michael. It was only a moment before an idea entered her mind."Let's check the caves! I'm sure he's in there."

Let's stop there. The setting may be intriguing, but not interesting. The following is an example of mixed action and description:

Laura dipped her feet into the frothing water. "How are we going to find him?" Her voice barely carried with the cold breeze of the waterfall. 

Michael nodded off gloomily towards the subtle dazzle of colors behind the foaming river. He clearly didn't have a clue of how to handle the situation. 

Laura's eyes darted around mossy paradise--if only it were paradise, as if the nature could make her missing brother appear from thin air. "It's all my fault," she bit her lip. Her feet brushed against the mounds of aquatic mildew to cool her boiling worry. She jumped up. "Let's check the caves!"

"We looked everywhe--"

"Except for the caves," She tried not to run on the slippery path as she headed down the hiking trail towards the obscure collection of caves. Michael barely trailed after her desperate pace.

 Do you see the difference? 

Writing character descriptions is rather similar. Find a good time to insert descriptions as they are performing actions. For example, "her faint blue eyes traveled for a glimpse of her brother" or "his muscles gleamed as the wound the chord." Except, don't do that. Please. We have enough boys with abs on Wattpad to make the sun seem like a freezer.

Do not show off. We get it. You know stuff, you've researched for hours for this particular subject, and you want to show people that you know it. No need to tell me about how his Biceps Brachii expanded and how his Sternocleidomastoid forced his neck left by a centimeter as he flung the ball into the hoop. 

We get it, you've learned your basketball. All you need to do now is create a realistic statement of him simply throwing a ball in the hoop. People appreciate their own understanding. We're supposed to be writing novels, not science books.

There also happens to be flowery language. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sprinkling your vocabulary abilities in your writing, but it can backfire. What I'm saying is you don't have to try so hard to get a good collection of vocabulary. If you don't have a huge range of vocabulary, don't feel obliged to make your book the most eloquent thing alive; if you do have a good range of vocabulary, good for you. You don't have to go to the thesaurus and pick the most complex word on the list. I don't want to wake up and see a book with the title "The Legends of the Flabbergasted Discombobulated Nincompoops of Lollygagland" in my recommended section, because I lost you at "the."  Eloquence has a limit, understand that.

Stick to a primary emotion. What do you want the reader to feel when you're describing a scene? Do you want the setting to give off a certain sense of depression? Is it supposed to be an uplifting environment? Determine the mood of your surroundings, and refer to it as a source of word choice. "Knitted blankets and a brick fireplace" may set off a welcoming uplifting environment, and that's all there is to it. 

Consider the protagonist's outlook on surroundings. In addition to setting the mood, you need a point of view balance to it.  Maybe the environment is uplifting but the setting brings back bad memories to the character. So you still need to show the general emotion, but imply that it is an unpleasant environment for them by tweaking the word choice. My previous example would possibly be "Motionless flares of heat from the fireplace and scratchy comforters" after the character's outlook is injected into it. It may not connect with a bad memory, it may primarily be associated with the protagonist's sense of how he sees the world.

My main focus was on physical descriptions of the setting rather than of the character. Primarily because I feel that settings are used much more than character description, but note that these methods are applicable to both.

Also, shoutout to one of my awesome supporters, Nocturnal_Narrator. She has an amazing book in progress called Human. Don't  hesitate to check it out!