I thought I was a horrible romance writer--until Wattpad. In short, the majority of popular romance on Wattpad is just... hmm...how should I put this politely.. absolute animal turd. Don't get me wrong, there is some good romance out there, and we need more of that. Also, no offence to any romance writers or readers, this is my opinion, since my interests rest on realistic romance, and storyline altogether. With that said, here's everything wrong with Wattpad romance:
Disclaimer: If you like the Wattpad romance genre, I suggest you remove yourself from this chapter.
Love Based Off Of Attraction. When I read romance here, I don't see heartfelt love, I see "He's so hot! Look at those abs! Oh my, gosh, I bumped into a wall, wait no! It's a man! He's so hot! (Insert half-naked man picture with makeup that took hours to put on.) I'm in love with him!! Look at his beautiful purple-grey, flashing disco-light puppy eyes! I LOVE HIM!! Did I mention he's hot?" Honestly, there's nothing wrong with what I described, except for the fact that Skyler Johnson has fallen in love with Trump's wall.
There's a huge, bold fine line between "attracted to" and "in love." It absolutely irks me that there is no real romance in the romance genre, only an exchange of admiration for good looks and huge vocabulary and grammar mistakes. Lost? Let me explain. Love is where you accept and embrace someone for who they are, and most likely relate to them. Attraction is merely admiration, there is no romantic depth and understanding to it, only a hollow sense of longing, a big crush.
Don't get me wrong. Describing your main character's attraction to his beautiful eyes, or her graceful flip of hair, or his abs, (or graceful flip of abs) absolutely fine, but never imply she is in love with him for that reason.
Instaromances. Crushes can exist within minutes, but not love interests. Ok, I know you've known, or at least heard of the friend who finds herself in love twenty-four seven, and who finds her heart broken every few seconds. First off, she's delusional. Secondly, I believe she is suffering a mental illness I call magnetism. Lastly, dargh, it's my neighbor. The thing is that if your characters are falling for each other in minutes, or even days, you're missing the point of romance. Good chemistry is supposed to bud into real love, not shallow "OHMYGAWDNAS, I NEED A BOYFRIEND" motive or any sense of attraction-built romance. Love takes time.
Romance? I think not. I'm just upset Wattpad hasn't made a separate genre for erotica. Sometimes, I'll pick up a "romance" book (But let's face it, those days are far behind me). It seems innocent for the first few chapters, then boom, every half a chapter is filled with a steamy mess. Sorry, I'm a church kid, I can't handle it. Not only is it disturbing, but it does exactly nothing to advance the plot and further your book. Romance writers, hello? Let me re-educate you on the definition of romance. It's love, it's a beautiful connection, not the art of reproduction. Once again, most popular romance books have no real romantic value to them. I'm suggest that Wattpad create a separate genre for these types of books
Cliches. Enough said, get an original plot, with original characters that have names other than Skyler and Dumbelwaffersnorgenhoff,.
Perfect But Not-Perfect Love Interests. A lot of writers write the love interests as a dream boyfriend or girlfriend of theirs, which truly understandable. It is wonderful to write about the love life and characters you'll never have.
Stop it.
An imperfect character is a price you'll have to pay as a writer. Nobody's perfect, so neither are your love interests. Yes, these are books; you have the power to make your characters perfect. "So why can't I make my characters perfect?"
Because life is unfair. Now shut up.
Unrealism. Yes, attraction mistaken for love is one thing, but what else? How about this:
He grabbed me and smashed my frail body against the wall. I crumpled to the ground, feeling blood drip out of my nose. He gave me a sly smirk, and let his foot fly into my ribcage. I could feel the bruises expand over my stomach. My eyes met his gorgeous, turd-colored orbs. I loved him so much, it didn't matter how much he abused and hurt me. His fist connected with me already-swollen cheek bone. It cracked. He flashed his stunning, beautiful, perfect, inconceivable teeth.
This was true love.
What has the world come to? Why do some romance writers expect violent personality traits to be an attractive factor.
Another thing, can someone explain how it's logically possible for Mr. Somehow-Not-Arrested Badboy suddenly becomes attracted to unnoticed lead character, for seemingly no, or an valid reason. Ahem, usually because she's not attracted to him, and for that reason, they fall in love. That's legitimately how it goes most of the time.
i love you, i hate you. Don't worry, I'm guilty of this too. I understand why writers feel the need to do this. It somehow enhances the fact that the relationship between the main character and love interest is more unlikely. Here's an example:
My feet thudded into a wall-like foot. I fell, spilling my drink all over my shirt. "What's your problem!" I stared daggers into his eyes. He was pretty hot. Focus, Skyler Anamaria Johnson, it doesn't matter.
"Need a hand," A smirk swept across his face as he reached out a hand.
"Not from you!" I shouted hatefully. My eyes travelled down his six-pack under his shirt, which I can see, because I have X-ray vision. It was hot. But he tripped me, so I hate him. I gave him an angry stare as I jumped up and tramped to my next class.
Somehow, the main character is always having an internal battle whether or not to hate him or love him, usually with illogical motivation to do either. She has no real reason to love him, and has no credible motive to hate him. When I accidentally trip on someone's foot, I don't usually act like the person who tripped me murdered my father, or vice-versa.
Illogical Personality Shifts. To be honest, I've never read far enough in any romance book to discover this, but I do have indirect proof of it from other readers.
A lot of times the main character will shift from a quirky, individualistic loner to a reliant, sensitive brat. Love has its effects, but it doesn't utterly destroy people and transform them into a completely new person. Changing is a necessity, but romance novels take it a bit too far.
I'm so sorry about this chapter. Feel free to disagree. It's only my inexperienced opinion, and if you know me, I love complaining; it's my specialty. Once again, I'm a believer in realistic romance, but you may not be. In that case, I'm truly sorry.
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