The Right To Write

My Wattpad Pet Peeves: Complaint Series 2

You think I'm done complaining?

You're dead wrong.

Here are some things that irk the living fish about Wattpad out of me.

Profanity. Honestly, I understand that once and a while writers need to emphasize their character's emotions. But. How about, not every single line of dialogue? It loses its magic, you know, after about the billionth time it's said. Here's a profound piece of advice from a wise sage:

Chill.

Cliches. You haven't seen the last of this...

Love Triangles (Rectangles, Pentagons, Hexagons, etc.). This applies to real books too.

Hunter brought me a rose, how sweet. Goodness, I love him so much. Aw look, Bob bought me a Ferrari, what a sweetheart. Suddenly, I looked outside, because I heard somebody calling me. I wonder if it's another love interest? I thought to myself as I peaked out of my humble mansion. Dumbelwaffersnorgenhoff was being sexy outside on my porch.

"Troll!" He called my name in the most angelic of male voices. "Troll, I love you! I bought you California! Tell me you love me!"

"Oh Dumbelwaffersnorgenhoff, of course I love you!" I couldn't believe he bought me all of California. Suddenly, I fell in love with him. I added another name to the list of the millions of love interests I already had. Now all I have to do is choose... I sat dreamily on my bed and wondered who I could possibly love the most.

 Sure, my rant is slightly exaggerated, but it's not the love triangle itself that drives me up the wall. It's the overuse notion of "Oh, dear me, how could I possibly make up my mind?" These characters sit about the whole novel simply wondering who the one for them is. Tell me this isn't a slight bit aggravating.

Also, the fact that every one of her love interests are amazingly committed. Correction, they're unrealistically committed. Everyone wants Troll, and is willing to die at her feet. You must have some character to make that possible.

Lastly, love triangles always disappoint someone. Always. If you're looking for a reason to make a portion of your reader base cry in anguish, love triangles are the answer for you. One way or another, she's going to pick one of her love interests, or... not at all. You can't have your cake and eat it too. 

Just Writing. For sure, plain horrid writing makes me cringe. I'm not only talking about horrid writing. I'm talking writers writing R-rated scenes with six-year-old writing style. If you've skimmed through some of the What's New romance section, you know exactly what I mean. 

If this is what six-year-olds are learning about nowadays, then I feel ashamed to call myself human.

The Substance-less-ness. On Wattpad, all you need in your book is something that keeps readers entertained and hooked. That's all there is to it. And not many writers here feel the urge to take it a step further.

There are no role models. No moral lessons. And no substance in general. The majority of the books here ring hollow with "read me, I will cure your boredom" flagged over them. 

I'm not completely blaming the writers, I'm also crediting the readers. Most of the youth of Wattpad seem to have no desire to read any more than what they came for: entertainment.

Defeating the purpose of writing. 

And she walked into a creepy hallway, that look like dis:

Ok, isn't the purpose of writing a book to write...? Inserting pictures defeats the purpose of writing. have some common sense, people! 

Personally, I'm fine with insertions in the author's note, or a video that is attached with the chapter itself, rather than being slapped smack dab in the middle of a writer's "writing." Punching it in the middle of a writer's official chapter is not something I would classify as quality writing.

...And Sloth..

Sorry, I got a little weird with this chapter. Oh the joy of complaining... Thank you guys so much! You're the most amazing supporters! Thank you for enduring my rants and annoyance.